Touchtalks

Being a Parent

2011-05-23T11:14:00.000-07:00

Just a short blog with powerful outcomes when it comes to your children's correction.

Be CONSISTENT with corrective discipline, such as time outs or something taken away.

Be CLEAR - make sure what you expect is what you ask for.

Be CALM- definite commands and instructions, "This is what happens when you ______." Anger intensifies the moemnt.

Be COURAGEOUS. Stand your ground. Backing down to a 4 year old only leads to future disappointments.

Be CLOSE. Spend private one on one time with each child, listening, learning and laughing. Tell them frequently you love them.

Four Common Aspects of Effective Leaders

2011-04-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Leaders follow a different path than those who are content to follow along with little responsibility. For a real leader, not a positional authority, the calling of a “higher” level of living is a necessity. There must be an inner push to reach higher steps that once resonated with impossibilities or limitations. Yet, there are expectations of certain characteristics resounding from motivated leaders. Of the leadership requests, from most organizations, the list rings respectively with four common elements:

1. Visibility: Whether sitting in a local coffee shop, frequenting the same convenience store, or attending community events, a visible leader consistently builds his circle of friends and contacts. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. When people have an opportunity to connect to you socially, they feel they know you personally.

Here are a few tips for a visible leader:

Walk through the crowd slowly.
Acknowledge everyone (especially the children)
Give a genuine smile
Listen
Give sincere compliments

2. Communication: A leader who effectively communicates will cut the lit fuse. Many causes of friction are eliminated by communicating the message and mission without any surprises. A Leader bests communicates the vision by highlighting even the smallest accomplishments, acknowledging everyone’s opinion, avoiding the trivial but combining small steps with the goal in mind. A simple phone call, email or even better, a handwritten note of appreciation can go a long way in effectively communicating the progress.

3. Innovation: Creativity is best learned from felt needs. By evaluation of the project, ministry or department; we can learn what the demands are. Listen to the people around you and especially below you. Listen for the heartbeat of those who follow you. Innovation flows from being a step ahead of the current situation and walking through the arena of wants and needs. As one writer expressed, some of the greatest ideas were first scribbled on a restaurant napkin. The leisurely “cup of coffee” with an acquaintance can stir the creative heart with vision.

4. Integrity: Life speaks through your character. Newspaper articles grab the attention of hungry eyes through the reports of fallen leaders; but the life rewards are huge for the honest man. Our inner diet must be filled with characteristics of honesty, stability, wholesomeness and moral boundaries. Integrity shows through in every detail of life but speaks loudly when the chips are down and life is hard. Leaders for life are men of integrity.

What every Leader Needs to Plan for this Week.

2011-04-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

A Leaders life is busy and often times we live overstretched lives. If there is one thing that must be done this week - it is to take this short list and implement it this week.
There are things that must be done, there are things that we would like to get done and there are things that others want us to do. Let's elimnate much out of the third option by saying, "No!" Let's take what we would like to do and refine it, combine it and delegate it. Now let's reconfigure the elements of life that "must" be done and put some at the beginning of each day.
Now we can add the most urgent in our priority list.
1. Invest time with my wife over a coffee, a sandwhich at lunch or a walk around the neighborhood. You are investing into what really matters most.
2. Invest time with your son and/or daughter today. Don't let another day go by without calling them or meeting them. They are one of your most precious assests in life.
3. Invest time planning some time off - even if it is a short afternoon, early morning, or weekend. Time refreshing is time investing.
4. Invest time in your health both physical and spiritual. Prayer and Bible reading develops a river of joy in your heart. Physical excercise and a healthy diet invest in your future.

What Do You Really Look Like on the Inside?

2011-01-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

If you were to buy this book just to read the first chapter on Holy Confidence, you would have well spent the few dollars and invested richly into your life. Mark Batterson again comes creatively into the theatre of your mind to create a life picture of your life as the immagine del cuore. From the life of David, the Shepherd, Conqueror and King, the book is woven together with a mixture of real life experiences to mirror your life with God’s divine purpose for you.
This is more than just a numeration of dry terms or a statement “of a matter of fact” but a true to life print of what your soul really looks like on the inside, you image of yourself and God’s calculated plan to bring your uniqueness to the forefront of your life.

Love and War Devotional for Married Couples

2010-12-20T16:49:00.000-08:00

Love and War pulls the covers off the fairy tale marriage and reveals, "marriage is hard." John and Stasi Eldredge are no strangers to the "relationship field," they are best selling authors of "Wild At Heart" and "Captivatin".

This eight week adventure unfolds "real marriage," in a devotional laid out into short daily arrows of truth. "Remembering What We Wanted" begins the quest leading to "Your Spouse is Not Your Enemy" and "The Little Foxes."

Explore your marriage with 134 pages of heart searching and heart mending as "the battle for hearts continues".

"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

A father is created when a child is born - that's the easy part but dad's are made when a relationship has developed between a son or a daughter. Sometimes we just don't get it that our children are not money seeker's or fad grabbers. They are normal kids who want dad to give them some time, some attention and some love.

Dad's know when a child needs a hug, an ice cream or a little advise. A real dad knows that his son needs some "man to man" time. A dad knows when his daughter needs a father- daughter date. Children don't want things as much as they want dad.

A softball and thirty minutes can make a child smile all day. A fishing pole and a cold drink will delight a child for a week. A hug can make a child happy for a decade. A prayer with a child can save him throughout his life.

Families that pray together - stay together. Dad's that lead the family in prayer will always have a family to come home to.

To all the great men who are Dads - Happy Daddy Day!

Forgiveness Comes in Three Steps

2010-03-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness is the mercy of God for you, the power of God for others. Forgiveness reveals both strength and humility. Forgiveness removes the present pain and sometimes the past hurt. People who forgive live longer and live better. Joyce Meyers said that bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die.

Forgiveness comes in three major steps:

God's forgiveness.

It must begin here. Forgiveness is not an issue of works but a divine work of mercy. You must believe that He does forgive and you must ask Him for it. Time heals is a farce without the forgiveness of God. When you allow God to forgive you it is easier to forgive someone else.

Forgiving others.

One of the reason it is hard to forgive others is we have been taught that we must forget. Someone said, "I can forgive but I can't forget." This is true. God asked you to forgive but didn't ask you to forget. When you forgive you will not be slapped with amnesia. You can always tell when you have forgiven someone - when their name comes up you have lost the heated passion to get even.

Forgive yourself.

Perhaps the hardest of the three. If you can't forgive yourself you will find it hard to accept God's forgivenss and definitely find it hard to forgive others. Find it within your heart to allow God's love. Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, the theif on the cross and Saul, the murderer - He will forgive you too.

Changing a Flat Tire

2010-01-28T11:48:00.000-08:00

A couple I know has a habit of running on bare tires, I even gave them some money to buy a new tire once. In fact, if a tire loses air - they will go air it up a dozen times before they ever decide to repair or patch the tire. I can't tell you the times they have had a flat tire, only to moan and complain about how terrible life is, air it back up and keep going till the next calamity.

Another couple I know does their marriage the same way. They run on bare threads. No time for each other, stressed out over life and events, and saying, "I'm sorry," but never reparing the relationship. Like airing a tire with a slow leak - sometimes they are up and sometimes they are down.

Without addressing the propblem and merely finding temporary solutions will result in a "blow out," that will endanger the couple and their children.

But "I can't afford a new tire", or "I don't have time", or "that's my husband's job," or, "It's her fault not mind," prevail in the marriage. Finally the blow up comes and all the excuses lose their impact.

Bob and Joan (ficticious names but a real couple) actually made these excuses, never having time or mnoney or "whatever" to fix or replace the "bare tire" in their marriage, and the "blow ups" are more frequent. Scary. Now she is talking divorce.

By the way, the first couple went out and bought a new tire and threw the old one away. I am happy they are safe.

Teamwork

2010-01-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

Teamwork creates a sense of balance. Even if you don’t like people you must admit you like the variety of input they provide for the company or the product. Effective teamwork adds dimension, a creative approach and an aura of accountability. To make teamwork really work, simply means involving the team. Team effort creates energy and energy means productivity. Nothing creates energy like a team. Football is best played with both the defense and the offence doing what they do best. When people work as a team they feel motivated not isolated. Teamwork is always your best tool in the tool box. Teamwork is best accomplished when there is thorough communication – without communication, the entire process is doomed. Communication must be two way and an effective leader will hear from the team, as well as, speak to the team. Each member of the team knows what to expect – surprises, often, lead to rumors and gossip and confusion. Communication clearly defines expectations and applauds accomplishment.

Growing Closer in Tough Economic Times

2009-12-07T08:11:00.000-08:00

Bob is a smart business man with a glowing personality and a profound love for his wife but the Monday after thanksgiving he was laid off his job and her income alone was not enough to live on. The stress began to build -especially when she was rushed to the doctor's office for stitches in her hand. The medical bills were enormous and invaded their Christmas savings account.

Just when you thought you couldn't take another hit then the baby gets sick and the hospital bills begin to come in - right before Christmas. You may have a few dollars saved for gifts only to have the transmission go out on your van. Or, worse yet, laid off your job.

These tough economic times can bring stress to the best marriages and often bring untold heartache and dive into depression. It is difficult for married couples to work out the kinks when driving blindfolded. Marriage is sailing through uncharted waters of economic instability.

Here are a few keys to unlock the door of stress:

1. Bite the bullet. That was a cheap shot but truly look at your daily outgo, write it down and eliminate any luxury bills.
2. Have fun. There are plenty of free or inexpensive things to do. Go to the Christmas parade, eat popcorn and roll on the floor with the kids are still fun and free family past times.
3. Take a walk. It wards off stress, helps you stay healthy and provides time for you and your bride to communicate.
4. Call a friend. For most cell phone users weekends are free calls. Call a relative, friend, or classmate you haven't talked to in a long time.
5. Go to Christmas activities. Christmas parties, family get-togethers and church Christmas plays are numerous this time of year.
6. Watch a black and white DVD together. "It's a Wonderful Life," is a great Christmas time DVD and fits our economic times.
7. Work in a soup kitchen. Nothing warms the heart like helping someone less fortunate than you.
8. Bake some goodies. trying a new recipe and giving it as a gift to a neighbor or friend is a delight.
9. Have coffee with an old friend.
10. Study the Bible. The colder climate is an ideal time to grab a book, read the Bible and research a new topic.
11. Say I Love You. Tell your wife/husband you really love them, by the fireplace, alone...get it?
12. Write in your journal. Writing is a keepsake and a stress reliever.
13. Organize a closet. Or, rearrange the furniture.
14. Reminisce through old family photos.
15. Pray. Prayer is the ideal stress reliever.

The Master of the Marriage

2009-11-14T13:08:00.000-08:00

In marriage when moving from one opinion to another, compromise is essential but someone must make the final decision. When mind meets matter and the post meets the pre then someone must have somewhere to go to. When arguments escalates and plans dissolve and children disobey and finances disappear there must be an anchor.

May I introduce you to the Master of the Marriage, Jesus Christ. God says, "I hate divorce" so in turn He must "love marriage." Togetherness, relationships and love all find themselves in the heart of God. Forgiveness, passion and bonding all fit in His hand.

When insurmountable odds pull at you heart and unbelievable lies fill your mind and ugly feelings take over your life there is a Master of the Marriage. Draw close to Jesus, draw near to Him. He will heal the hurt, place love in the tragedy and hope in the destiny. He created marriage, he ordained marriage and He still works in your marriage.

Find your place with Him - the life giver.

Marriage and Ministry

2009-10-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

It is difficult to wear a cross while bearing a crown. It is also difficult for marriage and ministry to be borne together. For the ox and the donkey to plow together will create uneven rows in the field so the ministry and the marriage is often uneven, out of balance and even crooked.

Ye, we don't admit that we sacrifice our marriage for the ministry. We won't confess our frailties of unresolved conflict in the home. We won't even repent of our overcrowded schedules that place marriage in the back seat.

We run to the fatalities of our congregational families, chase the firetrucks rushing to put the next fire out, and even pray over hurting people, without the realization of the pain in our own marriages.

First, we must meet with our wife and repent of neglecting our marriage. We are setting a step by step process of reconciliation and restoration.

Secondly, we willmeet with our church board and design a schedule placed around my marriage and family first, with the important and urgent penciled in secondly.

Third, we will plan weekly dates where the two of you can talk, laugh and have fun together again.

How can two walk together except they be agreed and how can tow minister together unless they walk together?

So fourthly, pray together. Thanking God for the other and asking God to make you the husband God intended for you to be.

The Marriage Seasons

2009-09-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

Each time the seasons change you will hear something like, "Oh, I just love fall." Or, they may say, "Spring is my favorite time of year." Or, "I could live with summertime weather all the time." But no matter what season you love, and in whatever climate you live, (unless extreme south or extreme summer). You will notice there are changes brought into your life by the changing seasons. It is more than the fall leaves of autumn, the budding flowers of spring, the crisp air of winter or the humid days of an August summer. It is the activities of life that make the seasons enjoyable or repulsive.

Marriage has its seasons and the events, activities and attitudes of each season can make it repulsive or enjoyable. Take for instance, researches say there are four extreme changes in a couples marriage. The first one takes place usually around the third year of marriage, friction begins to develop and mount over the differences found in our individuality. When two begin to become one flesh - friction will develop. So naturally, the differences accumulate into "irreconcilable differences," but they are reconcilable if we will follow three definitive steps: 1. Realize that there are no perfect couples 2. Forgive easily, and 3. let your differences become compliments of style and creativity. People don't usually marry someone like them but moistly, marry someone who is weaker in definite areas where they are strong.

The second major season is during the 7th year. Children are in school, moms are bored, dads are overworked, stress is inevitable, and schedules become chaotic. Here are three tips to making this season a little more enjoyable. 1. Plan ahead and schedule well. 2. Plan time alone with just the two of you and go on occasional dates. 3. Don't let the children set the day - have them set the day around you and your husband's needs first.

The third major season is the fifteenth year. Boredom is the culprit. The children are in high school, mom and dad are tired most of the time, money may be tight and life is complicated. Mostly, this difficult time can be fixed by 1. Focusing on the marriage with exciting dates, time off, a night out with friends or family without the kids, and, 2. Having talk times set at the breakfast table or before you go to bed where you can communicate without interruption.

The last season is usually midlife around the 25th year of marriage. Physical life changes add to the mix of some emotional days but these are not marriage ending conflicts. Enjoy the good days, spend time together in relaxed moments, rev up your sex life and focus on the grandchildren are all quick ways to get the emotions settled down and the marriage back on track.

Now, let's put our best effort's forward and strive to have a great marriage in any season of life.

LISTENING: The Essential Love Language

2009-08-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a classic with most couples and marriage mentors and has won the hearts of many people. Over the years of mentoring and counseling couples one particular love language has become paramount in our technological society. It is the desire to be heard, whether twitter, texting, email, cell phone, Facebook, Myspace or a host of other communication tools; the message is the same: someone listen to me.

Overworked, stressed, and under appreciated housewives have found an emotional outlet in technology and after the kids are down for their afternoon naps, exhausted moms are reaching out on the media connectors. The drastic search for "small talk," the desire for connection and the "inner want" to be cared for, cause the heart to wander and seemingly insignificant compromises are made until "man meets woman."

"Just a friend," "Someone to talk to," "Meaningful conversation," until connection turns to emotional and sometimes, physical attraction. Some are addicted to the "white knight" syndrome thinking that someone is waiting to sweep the harried mother, out of her present stress and doldrums, and into the relationship she has "always dreamed of."

What awaits however, is loss of family, health, emotional downfalls, and spiritual drainage. One such mother confessed, "I lost it - in fact, I lost it all." Another admitted, "He wanted sex, I wanted so much more." The Internet "white knight" is often a wolf in sheep's clothing. Lust for men is sex and lust for women is covetousness for something more - sometimes for something that doesn't exists.

Communication is the key to a successful marriage. We will present more effective communication tools in our next blog.

Family - It Means Everything

2009-06-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

I have always believed that God comes first, then family. Next month will be 32 years of marriage and I haven't changed my mind. God is still first, family second. Sometimes life is complicated and confusing. Jobs demand extra time, health issues drain us, and life calls our name from all corners. It is easy to mix up the two and even push God and family into a far corner while we divulge in life's extravagances. Accumulating more stuff at the expense of God and money has left many a tragic father without. Following rainbows instead of God and family has caused many a soul to drift from the very best in life.

Why not take the time you need - no, not tomorrow but today -with God and family.

Moments Change into Milestones

2009-05-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

Within the last ten days we have found much to our surprise that my wife was diagnosed with colon cancer. Just the word colon cancer stirs emotions of fear of the unknown. Words of surgery, tests, chemotherapy and more was thrown around like a racket ball. Surgery was scheduled and friends called, emailed, texted and visited to show their support. Within ten days our emotions was torn from despairing words, "my wife died of colon cancer - she was gone within 60 days," to words of faith and love.

Moments of life have been recorded in journals. diaries, books and scripture when at 4:00 you are rejoicing and by 5:00 you are crying. When the children of Israel crossed over the Jordan River it was a divine moment of praise and celebration that was quickly commemorated and memorialized by placing 12 stones inside and outside the Jordan River. "For when your children come by this place they will remember what God has done."

With the surgery, tests, lab work and diagnosis behind us we now are rejoicing. The cancer was removed, found "in time", was contained in the colon, not in the lymph nodes, and no chemotheraphy. So when we talk about the "scare of the last week of May." we will rejoice when a "Moment changed into a Milestone."

Recreation means Re-creating

2009-05-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

Recreation has viewed by some means to waste time, kill time or be non productive but actually in a marriage the value of recreation has been underestimated. All work and no play makes John a very dull boy.

To create a renewed sense of love and commitment time should be peppered with occasional time off for "just the two of you."

Here are a few tips on "re-creating" you love and marriage.

1. Take a day trip to a park, town or relative you haven't seen in a while.
2. Go out for desert and coffee.
3. Go for a walk around the block, through a flower garden or park.
4. Sit on the back porch with lemonade and talk about dating when you first met.
5. Work out in the yard together with mowing, landscaping or an outdoor project.
6. Stroll through a shopping mall together.
7. Go to a few garage sales and catch breakfast on Saturday morning.
8. Go out for pizza with someone you haven't seen in a while.
9. Text her/him and meet for lunch somewhere.
10. Take a drive into a neighborhood of homes for sale or into the country.

Plus, there are a dozen other things to do as the weather breaks and nice sunny days are waiting for you to enjoy.

These are the little things of life that add up to a great marriage.

Trust - The Big "T"

2009-05-02T08:49:00.001-07:00

When couples are asked what is the most important element in a long lasting marriage they may name: security, love, caring, and committment. When asked what is the most important over every other term they quickly reply, "trust".

"I can't trust him/her" is the most devastating words heard in a marriage. The big "T" is to be carefully guarded, can be quickly lost and most importantly treasured.

Trust is gained by careful actions not gained by words. Words become empty when actions disprove the ability to be trusted.

Trust is gained by respect of the vow of marriage, "til death do us part" and honor of the other person's feelings, imperfections and heart.

Trust is gained over time of true commitment, defending - not making fun other the other, and showing personal affection.

The big "T" will keep a marriage strong, true and long lasting

The Elements of Making it Through Hard Times

2009-04-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

Making it through hard times brings out the strength and character of the committed and often brings anger and anxiety out in the lives of the desperate. The line has been marked clearly throughout the last few months as newspapers scream of the father who killed his children, the shooting rampage of three police officers because a man lost his job and the numerous suicides we don't even read about.

But there are those who trust in God, their relationship with God and their faith in God is becoming stronger each day. There has never been a miracle without a problem first. There has never been an answer without a question first. And there has never been God's power manifested without the weakness of men shown first.

Three elements come to the forefront during hard times. First, the secret power of divine relationship. They smile when the storm is brewing, they rejoice through the tempestuous, and they believe when all hell breaks out. Their heart beats softly even when their feet is put in the fire. Secondly, the deepness of love within the family. People draw near to each other when the outside world encroaches upon them. Thirdly, the presence of God seems to be stronger and more real to those who need Him most.

THE HIGHLIGHTS OF IMPORTANCE

2009-03-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

The Highlights of Importance.

When I look back over my past and muse over my future I must admit - life and all its pursuit boils down to one or two really important things.
When the CEO of Carolina Pad, Clay Presley, missed his interview with INC. magazine not one thought that he would be among the ones standing along a plane wing waiting for the rescue boat. US Airways Flight 1549 had safely landed in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009. But when Presley did make the interview he firmly stated, “"in about three seconds, you realize what's important: family, and your spiritual relationship.”
I agree! Of all the things I have done in my past and all the things in my future – the time, energy, money and future plans aimed at, my relationship with God and my relationship with my family is most paramount. Setting the most important things as the most important things must be more than mental assent. There must be a sense of direction, a momentum moving us down the right path. A few right choices can set a dynamic change agency within us.

Here are a few tips on making the right things the right things:

1. Ask yourself the TIME question. What will captivate the majority of my prime time. Make a list of all the necessary items for today with the “most important things” figured in. Schedule your prime time events on your daily calendar, after following this day after day, it will become a habit.
2. Ask yourself the ENERGY question. What takes the majority of my energy. We aren’t talking about job, etc. – we are only talking about our “most important things,” of these, what should take the most of my effort as I work towards satisfaction?
3. Ask yourself the MONEY question. Will I begin to allocate funds to my priority areas? How much can I spend on each item? And, am I willing to adjust my standard of living to fit these new terms?
4. Ask yourself the FUTURE question. Since priorities rewrite the future it is important I ask myself some thought provoking questions. How will this change my future? What must I do beginning today if I want to change my future?

MARRIAGE CHAMPIONS

2009-01-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

In the surrounding arena are the lions of ferocious attacks against the marriages of America. Divorce claims the homes of one out of two marriages and abuse rises as flood waters after a torrential rain. It is time, maybe, past time, to leap into a fresh approach to shore up and strengthen our marriages. Not mere existence but life growth.

Life Church is sponsoring the Marriage Champions Seminar beginning February 5th and running for eight weeks. The seminar will include video clips, stories, illustrations, interaction, handouts and snacks. In collaboration with John Brown University, Northwest Arkansas Healthy Marriages and the Center for Relationship Development, Life Church will help marriages grow instead of stagnate, climb instead of fall and melt together instead of fall apart.

Go to www,nwamarriages.com for these free classes plus, enjoy the professional and confidential aspects of the class, plus, meet others pulling in the same direction, plus, snacks and fellowship afterwards plus, childcare is available.

Just what you need at the right time! Register today.

New Years Resolutions for Couples

2008-12-31T13:12:00.003-08:00

Here are a few suggestions for couples who intend to invest in their marriage in 2009. Don't forget when you invest you are able to make withdrawals. The more you invest in your marriage the more flexible and forgivable the marriage becomes.

Resolution #1: Pray Together. The old adage is still true, the family that prays together, stays together. The Bible tells us that prayers are hindered when couples don't get along, so it bears in mind that a couples prayers are NOT hindered when they get along. Prayer time is a good time to talk, share, testify, encourage and humble ourselves before God and our mate.

Resolution #2: Play Together. Some couples have forgotten how to have fun. Pop some popcorn, pour two glasses of Coke, turn out the light and watch a black and white classic. Or, plan a day off. Or, plan a spring or summer vacation. Go on a date or take a day trip.

Resolution #3: Plan Together: Enjoy the benefit of planning to build a back porch, redo the landscaping, paint the living room or update the kitchen. Clean out the garage or set out a 2009 budget. Planning takes resilience, dedication and fortitude. Planning together puts the glue back in a marriage.

Resolution #4: Purpose Together: Find out what your "couple purpose" is. Decide on a mission to support, an orphanage to check out, a food bank to give to or a friend to encourage. These times spent together for others are enormous in adding value to your marriage.

Resolution #5: Practice Together: Take on a hike, a jog, tennis, exercise, diet or fast together. Also, practice applauding each other. Praise each other fervently and frequently. Applaud each attempt in pleasing you, whether it is a scrumptious dinner, a well planned evening, a new outfit, or other meaningful "love gift."

Resolutions for Couples

2008-12-31T13:12:00.001-08:00

A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.

2008-12-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

After 31 years of marriage, that's 31 Christmas holiday events, we are still planning, spending, preparing, baking, partying, gifting, tasting, decorating, scheduling, giving, going, and more. Yes, we have experienced headaches, sore feet, empty checkbooks and cold weather but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We feel the pain of the holidays, the stress of the schedules and the overspending on the presents and I get angry, stressed, head achy, and frazzled but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We have two grandchildren (I have pictures if you care to see them), Jake, one year old, and Kallee who was born this past Dec 3rd. We have two children, both married, who are spending Christmas with their relatives this year Rather than soak and soar; or sit and mope, we have decided to go off for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, just a couple of hours away. I found a 3.5 star hotel on Hotwire for half the price and we plan to look at Christmas lights, explore Tulsa shops and find nice restaurants to eat at and exchange gifts Christmas eve. My wife and I are still having a great time together.

Oh, we disagree, fuss, complain and the usual holiday medley but my wife and I are still having a great time together, We have cried, laughed, prayed and sometimes worried but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We have enjoyed a great past, looking forward to a blessed future and my plans include her and her plans include me. My wife and I are still having a great time together.

Kallee Sharee Laudell

2008-12-03T15:09:00.001-08:00

Babies, Hugs and Smiles

2008-11-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

Being a father was a delight - watching both of my children grow up to be God loving adults and building their own family. My daughter's son will turn one year old in just a few days and my son's wife will give birth within the week. So now I am putting on my grandfather image and watching my children bring their children into the world. When the babies are around - nothing else is important. It is one of the joys of holding on to a long married life together. Over 31 years my wife and I have been married and we are enjoying the reward.

A few, no a bunch, of things have crossed my mind when I see the grandson and think of my soon to be, granddaughter.

First, I have to watch my step. I know that since the little guy is learning to walk, (he has the bumps on his forehead to prove it), he can get under your feet in a hurry. But I was talking about my daily life - he loves to mimic and that is what causes me concern. Do I treat my neighbor right? Have I spoken well? Have my actions been moral and upstanding?

Secondly, I must love Godl. Children come into life with a blank chalkboard and what is written upon it has been taught by the adults around him. He learns from what he sees and hears. He knows how to love others and how to love God.

Thirdly, I must pray. Faith doesn't come through the channels of habit but rather through the prayers of the family. I must pray for his spirit to shine, his countenance to glow, his life to bless and his soul to be saved at an early age. I will pray for his parents to be good in their upbringing, teaching him to live right and for them to pray with him at night. I will pray to God for his protection, his dreams and purposes to be God willed and his life to influence others.

Well, I hate to quit so quickly but my grandson needs a hug.

Reducing Stress During Recession

2008-10-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

Julie and Bob had a good income, a good marriage, and a good life until Julie came up expecting with complications during her last three months of pregnancy. Within a few months she delivered with a normal birth and a beautiful baby boy. But hospital bills, doctor’s visits and the loss of Julie’s income for three months put the young couple at rock bottom. They struggles to pay for diapers, heating costs and even, food. Bob would come home exhausted and Julie felt defeated as she raised her baby as a stay home mother.

Julie prayed.

In the despair of foreclosures, job layoffs, uncertainty of the future, mounting costs and imaginable pain there is a dynamic – a hope that rides through the storm.

First of all, know He cares. Prayer is seeing life through God’s view. To see earth through His window. Jesus feels the pain, sees the hurt and weeps over the mess. “Jesus wept.” Jn 11:35 To know that He knows. He keeps me close. He delights in me daily. Pr 8:30 He is always within reach. Never ignores us.

Know He is with us. We often remind ourselves that His eye is on the sparrow but the scripture actually goes into greater detail. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. Matt 10:29. Did you notice? He didn’t say He would watch the sparrow fall but He said the sparrow will not fall to the ground without the Father.

Know we can lean on Him. When we learning to lean we grow stronger. Faith gives up in atrophy. Faith only grows stronger under duration. Becomes greater in practice. Produces greater results when meshed with a trail. As one man stated, “If you don’t have a problem – you won’t need a miracle.”

Know His Word is our strength. One of the greatest strengths on earth is to hear the tender voice of Christ in the day of your greatest struggle. One of the surest ways to hear His voice is to read, ponder, and meditate on His word. The Bible is full of scriptures bringing delight to the hearer. When Elijah was running for his life from the crass Jezebel he hid in the obscurity of a cave, as he pitied his dilemma he cried, “just let me die.” Yet, the Son of God entered the darkness of the cave and whispered his name, “Elijah.” What a comfort, a joy, a celebration of spirit, just to know, He knows your name and He knows where you are.

Know tomorrow is coming. When a Japanese Christian preacher was thrown in jail for his faith it was almost more that he could bear. His dungeon was deep below the earth and no one heard his cries, no sunlight and little food but he kept his faith. After, what seemed eternity, the dungeon door came open, the direct sunlight blinded his dirty face. The noise of men beckoning him to come out seemed to bellow out in his nearly deafened ears. Finally the glad words were heard, he was now free but as he looked around he noticed this was not the home he once knew, not a home, tree or building stood – all but the few men with him , were now gone. The men exclaimed, “Your home here in Hiroshima does no longer exist.” The United States had retaliated against the Japanese for their merciless killings at Pearl Harbor and the city of Hiroshima was destroyed by a nuclear bomb but the old preacher was saved because he had been hid in the deep cavern. His dark cell had become his salvation. Tomorrow is coming.

Essence of a Home

2008-10-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

If the home of a man is truly his castle and the heart of the home is a woman then the essence of a home is best defined as love. According to dictionary.com, the word essence means, "the inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything."

Essence would be the oil of an engine to keep it running smoothly and efficiently.

Essence is the blood flow through the passage ways of a body.

Essence is the warmth of a stove on a cold winter day.

Rare is the moment when the home is a rose strewn path of unceasing ease but rather it has become a ritual, much like tug of war. Yet, each and every one of us can compose this "essence of a home," as a great symphonic sheet of music.

For essence is best blended with atmosphere created by attittude. My determination in the morning sets the mix for the day. Guarding my words, softening my touch, beckoning with a smile bring the desired results of essence.

To create essence however, is not all on my own, one essential ingredient is missing, Prayer.

Prayer is the divine supplier of essence. To create atmosphere we must intialize the presence of God and bring peace into the home. Certainly the umpire of the soul and spirit is the presence of God. To comprise the quietness in the midst of the storm I must invite the one whom the winds and waves obey. To combine two living souls together in harmony I should invite the heavenly maestro.

Yes, essence of the home is the work of a compassionate Savior.

Me and My Love

2008-09-03T10:22:00.000-07:00

Do you ever notice the distinction that caused your bride stand out among all the other's. Relive the moment. Why did you fall in love? When did it hit you? Why did your mate take your breath away? Those distinctions, that uniqueness, that irresistible beauty knowing she would be yours for life.

Perhaps it was her laughter, the twinkle in her eye or the way she lit up when you walked into the room. She always brought you to be dissolved into pudding. She delighted you with her insight; held you spellbound by her mannerisms and held you captive by the grip of love she had on your heart.

Light the fire again. Relist the early moments of your love. Recapture the expressions of her love that caused you to find her irreplaceable. Remember the times you spent building a family, a home and a life.

At first she was beautiful in her youth but now more beautiful in each passing year. She has melted your heart over and over, she knows you backwards and forwards and arrests you time and time again.

Do you feel the glue? The bond? The delightful boundaries of marriage? Still recapturing your heart after each moment with her?

Take a few minutes to renew your "first love."

1. Remember the best times of your marriage.
2. Relive the loving moments together.
3. Resist the temptation to compare
4. Refire romance
5. Recognize your weaknesses
6. Recreate the "love links" - the little things in life she loves.
7. Renew by going on a date, a short trip or even an evening alone.

What is Central?

2008-07-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

For the politician there is elections, congress, news briefs, Iraq and energy costs.

For the merchant there is rising prices, lower projections, and stressful budgets.

For the sports fan there is steroid abuse, championships and the Beijing Olympics.

For the banker there is real estate foreclosures, stock plunges and tight money.

For the housewife there is sibling rivalry, frazzled nerves and disobedient children.

For the husband there is time schedules, less money and more responsibilities.

But Jesus said there is "one thing needful." Of course, Martha was busy in the kitchen preparing the evening meal, scurrying about with traumatic eyes as she whisked from mixing to the oven then setting the table. For Mary she was more concerned about the Bread of Life than the bread in the oven. She sat at the feet of Jesus ready to drink of the living water. She found the one thing that is central to life. To discover Jesus Christ. To learn of Him. To love Him with a full heart.

She yearned for a one to one conversation.

She longed for a face to face encounter.

She desired a heart to heart talk.

The one thing that is central is defined by Jesus as He spoke, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..."

To seek anything else becomes bothersome.

To follow anything else is an atrocity

To love anything else is idolatry.

The drive to gather anything at the loss of everything is a mere investment in today but to love Jesus supremely and to yearn for Him in our spirit is to grand investment for the future. To take time with Jesus is to invest in your marriage, your family and your life. Life doesn't sneak upon you when you love Jesus with all your heart. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..." but it continues with a promise, "and all these things shall be added unto you."

Agitation May Be Your Friend

2008-06-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

A clothes washer works best when there is a slight agitation with the water, soap and clothes but too much agitation on soft clothing may damage or weaken the fibers. Not trying to be your friendly Maytag repair man with your "Monday Washday Tips," but a reminder that daily agatation may be destructive to the body, mind and life.

Things that agitate:
Not enough money to pay bills
Disobedient children
Unreliable job
Family pressure
Car problems
Marital stress
and the list goes on!

Before you cry out in exasperation let's look at two insights:

We can't stop all areas of agitation. We must learn to live through them.Lot's righteous soul was vexed daily until he collapsed but Daniel when tempted "daily" resisted and fled. There is a strength to fill every believer. "When sin abounds grace does much more abound." Hold your head high, you are a child of the King, fill your heart with His Word for there is a"peace that passeth all understanding."

Secondly, as a washers agitation is meant to clean - so life's agitation. God takes the trials of life and brings us through a better person. When Daniel was in the pit (his brother's put him there) but he was willing to see God was creating his purpose in life. You may look at your present situation without hope but looking back, after several years have passed, you may see what God has brought into your life. Purpose isn't always planned, percieved nor pleasant but it is always personal.

Fathers Who Make a Difference

2008-05-21T15:29:00.000-07:00

Fatherhood is the most underrated job position in the nation. We have misunderstood the role of a father in the home, we have miscalculated his impact and have misconstrued his value. A father can make a dramatic difference in a family.

Take these staggering reports from Focus on the Family:

Approximately 50% of all marriages in the church are experiencing divorce.
69-94% of Christian teens are leaving the faith after they graduate from high school.
Less than 10% of churchgoing families read the Bible together, pray together or worship together in the home.

Could it be that if we could get father’s to lead their family in reading the Bible together, praying together and worship together in the home that we could drop the divorce rate and better emphasize the importance of the faith to our struggling teenagers.

Families need glue to hold them together and prayer in the home is the glue. There is something about a father leading in devotions and praying for each family member that inbreeds the essential elements of the faith that is not found in the church. Every family must find a church, get plugged in, be faithful and supportive but praying at the home brings to the family a bond that cannot be found elsewhere.

Where are the father’s who will teach humbly about asking for forgiveness, embracing a teen and saying “I love you?” Where are the father’s that will encourage each child in their gifts? Where are the father’s that will spend time training the children to respect, honor and obey their mother?

That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deut 6:2, 4-9 (KJV)

Attention Fathers ! Be the Man!

The Power of a Praying Mother

2008-05-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

The world will never fully know what could have been and what has been the result of a praying mother. Soldiers have been protected and brought home safely to a loving wife and precious baby as the result of a praying mother. Daughters have been gifted with wisdom at the right moment because of a praying mother. A grandchild has been protected from a serious injury because of a praying mother.

More than once the simple cry from a praying mother’s lips have pierced through the evil chambers of hell and have rescued a drifting child. More than once a desperate child heeded the invitation to respond to a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. More than once a marriage has been saved, more than once a child has been healed, more than once a life has been changed because of a mother’s prayer.

Mother’s know how to hold on. Mother’s know how to plead; Mother’s know how to pray!

She may not flatter others with her charm, she may not wear the latest style, she may not attempt to popularity or success but she knows God! And that is all that matters.

Thanks Mom for praying.

Our tribute to Mother’s and may every day be Mother’s Day!

I Don't Understand

2008-03-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

Don and Barbara lived to disagree. Don was apathetic and Barbara was sympathetic with everyone but Don. Barbara was definitely a BARB in Don’s side. She consistently disagree and Don was like a turtle, he always withdrew his head into his shell when another dissident subject came up for discussion. His introversion spurred her to be more domineering in every discussion – hoping to see Don “become a man.” The fight was on and on and on but they had been married for over 20 years and it wasn’t until their children stepped in that Don and Barbara decided to have “a little chat with a counselor.” (This factitious couple is a derivation of several couples ).

Going from a misunderstanding to an understanding takes work, patience and love but it really isn’t as difficult as it may seem. Take for instance, the definition for understanding in initially means (accordning to the Encarta Dictionary) “the ability to perceive and explain the meaning or the nature of somebody or something.” Now that is the hard part, “to explain” but it also means to have a “tolerant recognition of somebody else's nature or situation.” In other words, agree to disagree or agree together that it is acceptable to disagree. In the words of Dean Ancheson, “Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.“

Here are a few tips on changing our misunderstandings to understandings:

1. Take Time to Listen. Probably the most important part of an ongoing discussion is to actually listen to the opposing view. Maybe catching tidbits of information that may shed light on why they feel the way they do. Or, they may actually have a valid point on which to change your stand.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -Leo Buscaglia

2. Look at the One Talking. Perhaps there is not any one single item as important in communication as the willingness to look at the one talking with undivided attention. To focus on the one talking conveys respect, admiration and interest. To sit gazing in the distance, answering the questions with a disinterest and an “uhuh” only convey to the communicator they are not important enough to listen to intently.

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
- Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005)

3. Respond in Love. The toughest aspect of marriage is to realize that the common union is love based. There must be an agreement between the two there will always be a win-win resolution because of love. To keep the bond of love you should draw the battle lies wisely and withdraw from the winner – loser concept. As the Bible states, “Love covers a multitude of sins.”

4. Don’t Speak too Quickly. Understanding is a process not an instant event. Information is best mused upon. Most of the time arguments escalate because of an inconsiderate word spoken too quickly. Slow down – tell him or her “I don’t understand but give me some time to think about it.” Clear thoughts come more quickly when emotions of the moment are pushed out of the way.

Do not speak quickly; it is a sign of insanity. - Bias

5. I Don’t Understand Everything. Maturity causes me to confess the more I know the more I don’t understand. Information doesn’t always understand everything. Men have yet to discover the complicated map of emotions running through a women’s heart and women have yet to comprehend the complex “caveman” they committed to on their wedding day. It is best to admit while we don’t understand we still can love.

Don and Barbara still haven’t changed but that doesn’t mean you can’t. Begin now and see what a difference it makes.

Attitude - the Greatest Ingredient to a Life Long Marriage

2008-02-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

When Brad and Leah (fictitious names) decided to get married Leah had long been ready. However, Brad had always wanted to start his career first, and then after he hit the top mark in his company, he would think about getting married but love changed his plans. You would expected this young entrepreneur to come home each day with excitement in his voice as he took his young, beautiful bride in his arms but just ten months after their wedding day she joyfully expressed to him that she was expecting. Brad slipped into a depressive mode, he worked late hours, he was explosive at home and his young bride was confused and hurt.Brad was depressed over educational bills, his attempts at climbing the corporate ladder was more difficult then he first assumed, his first year of marriage (in his interpretation) was disrupted by the unexpected pregnancy and his wife seemed distant.

When "career" is placed first and family is placed a distant second or third or even fourth, then the inevitable happens and home is no longer a castle but rather the moat. We can always use hindsight and say it would have been better had they waited but they didn't. Now we must work with what we have instead of focus on what we haven't.A change of attitude cannot make the bad go away but a change of attitude can make the bad better and more bearable. A change of attitude can make the home smell like a fresh cut bouquet instead of smelling like a sewage treatment plant. But isn't changing our attitude in our marriage easier said than done. It isn't easy but it is possible. Taking Brad through the steps of an "attitude change" wasn't easy but the improvements were noticeable right away. Here are a few steps into making an "attitude adjustment" at home:

Say "I Love You" often and mean it. Seems to be a simple process but it is definitely the first step. The Holy Bible tells us that "Love covers a multitude of sins." Being a loving and forgiving individual is the first step to an abrupt attitude change.
Don't play the blame game. Blaming others for our own circumstances causes our own heart to react like a volcano. We never know when he is going to blow. "If you don't like what you have then leave" is the quick advice of overpaid counselors but laying aside the blame and walking into forgiveness can rectify the most damaged of lives.
Your goals are still attainable. It is easy to think that you haven't reached your "pie in the sky" because of the hindrances at home but you goals are still attainable. You still have the job, the education, the future and now you have a family to take with you.
Set priorities for life. Set your priorities to win life not money. Many have escalated quickly into the upward spiral of finances only to lose the things that were closest to their heart. Who do you really love? What do you really want? You can find the greatest satisfaction in your home when you change who is important. Don't lay aside your career decisions just reevaluate what is important - make a decision that will give the longest lasting results.
Hang your coat outside. A business man, with an overloaded mind, would always hang his coat outside, as his way of saying, "Whatever it was that got to me today, I am not taking it in the house." Leave your work at work and find the joy of loving the time spent, priority time, with your husband/wife and children.
Attitude is everything. Great business advice and even better home advice. Take a fresh new attitude home and watch the children run to you instead of away from you. Isolation is not fun but an attitude can bring amazing changes into your life and marriage.

Memories

2008-01-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

My wife and I are experiencing another round of "first memories" even though we have been married for over 30 years. We are enjoying the birth of our first grandson, Jehoiakim Andrew Sherer. We are already building a new catalog of experiences, his first bath by grandma, his first burp for grandpa, his first smile for mommy, and his first diaper change by daddy. Memories are the event s of life that you rehearse time and time again. Good memories are the highlights you add to a normal life.

Since it is imperative in the marriage that we create good memories and relive them occasionally I thought I would offer a tad bit of advice about memories:

Memories happen: Life goes on unnoticed around us. We live in such a hectic pace that we often forget the simple things that cause us to smile. Take note of the glimmers of God's grace as he offers a meaningful touch to an otherwise normal life.
Memories are made: Memories are those events in life that are planned. One boring evening before Christmas, my wife and I asked our daughter and her husband if they would like to take a drive to a nearby city and see the Christmas lights. We traveled on a curvy road anticipating the bright lights of Victorian houses wishes us a Merry Christmas but instead the town was dead. Street after street we drove from home to home knowing that the next turn would bring us to a well lit exhibit of peace and joy. Drab was the finding. Homes that were lit - were minimal and weak - to say the least. We decided it was time to eat and maybe, our luck would be better, We turned into a small cafe, Grandma's Beans and Cornbread. The small cafe was decorated with traditional red and white table clothes and a little old lady (Grandma?) had come to take our order. Of course, beans and cornbread was ordered. I don't know if we were that hungry but we laughed and enjoyed the southern delicatessen. Now we had a memory with the help of Grandma's Beans and Cornbread and one worth repeating.
Memories are lifesavers: Just get one or two family members together and start out by asking, "remember when..." and before you know it someone will crack a rib laughing as the family memories are brought to the forefront again.
Memories are romantic: remember the first kiss, the first hug well...you get the idea.
Memories are worth cherishing: Don't give up for temporal pleasure what you have taken a lifetime to build. Open up the treasure chest of memories, look at the family picture book, or draw some precious memories from the dark recesses of your mind and the present will be overwhelmed with the moments of the past.

Take some time today to create a special memory in your home.

Creating a Home Filled with Love

2008-01-02T05:22:00.000-08:00

After the stress of the holidays, what you didn't have any? Well, it is time to get out of bed.

Stress filled holidays is being overloaded with family filled events, overwhelmed with paying off credit cards, and overcrowded in activities and you are running off schedule. Now you are sitting in your home with your mate and you can feel the tension. You know, you can feel it - it is tight! You are afraid to say anything, afraid to move, afraid to breathe. Hot chocolate can't solve it, pumpkin bread can't melt it, a good book can't relieve it.

Here are a few pointers for starting the New Year!

Start by Asking for Forgiveness. If you haven't got what it takes to provide a peaceful setting in your home then take a breath and say, "I know that the last week or two we have both been under pressure. I am sorry if I wasn't my best. Please, forgive me." Start fresh!

Start by Planning Time for Togetherness. Take some time out for the two of you. On the first day of the year, when my wife and I finally crawled out of bed, we ran down to our favorite breakfast stop, enjoyed some refreshing time together, grabbed a few "after Christmas specials" and headed home in much better spirits.

Start Right by Seeking God. Above all else. Plan a Bible Study and a time of prayer. The first of the year is an excellent time to begin private devotions. Set your own time, set your own place, grab a devotional book and start out the year seeking God for your personal life and your home.

Influence Another to Greatness

2007-11-27T13:09:00.001-08:00

Influence. If leadership was to be defined with only one word - it would be the word "influence." Influence is the ability to touch someone's life for the better. To cause them to do good because you gently pushed them into goodness. John Maxwell states that if you are a leader and no one is following you - you are only taking a walk.
Certainly the fact that others see us if an awesome responsibility to godliness. "We are epistles of God, known and read of all men." Certainly God looks at the heart but men see our "good works."
Today you are making a difference. Some have reported that we will make a definite difference in seven peoples lives.You are either pointing others to the supreme good or the radical bad. Someone may quit trying because of your nasty attitude or they could plunge forward into greatness because of your undying determination to inspire others to greatness.
So shape up, change your attitude for the better and plan on influencing others to greatness. Today!

Stress of the Holidays

2007-11-20T14:07:00.000-08:00

Joy to the World....but where is the joy?

Oftentimes, holiday season is filled with stress filled pressures from various directions. From making decisions about where to spend the holidays, how much can we spend, the kid's are sick, time management and financial crunches. Just being indoors more can cause mounting moments of friction.

The world is on my shoulders - how can I find joy?

1. Map it: Get a December calendar and carefully map out the children's programs, work related parties, church activities and personal adventures, ie; shopping.

2. Plan it: Decide early your holiday places and spending. Know exactly what you can afford and what you can't afford. Be willing to compromise on where and with whom you spend the holidays with; making time for just you and the family.

3. Make it: Get the family together and do a holiday craft together. Bake cookies, create some homemade gifts, decorate the Christmas tree or just sing Christmas carols.

4. Love it: Take in some holiday festivities. There are plenty of Christmas lights to see, lots of fun places to go or just stroll around the mall, drink some hot chocolate and listen to the Christmas music.

5. Give it: Christmas is a time for giving. Find a family in need or call a lonely friend, send a card to someone you haven't wrote to in a while, find a single mother and watch her kids while she goes shopping.

6. Spiritualize it: Remember, the season is because of Jesus - He is definitely the reason for the season. Spend time to worship Him, adore Him and glorify His name.

Oh, by the way, it is still MERRY CHRISTMAS around our house.

Making the Most of Marriage

2007-11-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

Marriage is the ability to live within various circumstances and both parties come out a champion. Raising kids, finding extra money, scheduling time and keeping house is sometimes stressful and many times disastrous. Two people going hurriedly in no particular direction and exhausted by the weekend find their love life frazzled and their marriage on the rocks. Many women have fled the stressful scene to a fantasy of living alone (with my own time) and many guys have looked for a secret lover as a way to "get out" of the frenzied lifestyle.

We can make the most of a marriage by following a few life changing steps.

First and foremost, quit living reactive and start living proactive. Simply put, develop a schedule that works for both husband and wife. Don't put anything more on the list than can possibly be done in a week and learn to say, "NO!" Overextended families don't have fun - learn to live for the little things in life that bring your family happiness.
Schedule time for your and your spouse. This may be a quick sandwich at dinner, a date, shopping together, or simply a walk around the neighborhood but whatever you do, schedule it and do it!
Never go to bed without saying, "I Love You!" The most powerful words, when expressed with meaning and passion, can calm the most hectic of days. To know someone loves you, at the end of a chaotic day, can relax the most tense of muscles and cause you to rest better.
Take time to enjoy life. I borrowed the phrase, "vacation of the mind"from a lady who owned an art shop. But I personalized the meaning, sometimes when out on business, I would stop at a coffee shop and read a book, this fifteen minute vacation (vacation of the mind) has caused me to reexamine my day and think more clearly. One time when having a stressful and hectic day I stopped by a mini golf course, played a few holes, then being refreshed, went home to my family.
Enjoy dessert. Merely after the evening meal, express how thankful you are for your family. This is what I call "enjoying dessert." You don't have to have a piece of chocolate cake after dinner but expressing thanks for meal, thanks for a faithful wife or husband, or expressing thanks to a child who did his chores without being asked is the best dessert after a filling meal.
Pray. Prayer is the ability to express my doubts, fears and stress to God, draw strength from Him, and be renewed in my spirit. Praying together as husband and wife can be the strength you need to weather many storms.

MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS

2007-10-31T08:24:00.000-07:00

It is essential we make the right decisions and make them at the right time.

“Accurate analysis of over 25,000 men and women who had experienced failure, disclosed the fact that lack of decision was near the head of the list of the 30 major causes of failure. This is no mere statement of a theory – it is a fact. Procrastination, the opposite of decision, is a common enemy which practically every man must conquer.” - Napoleon Hill

If you need to make a decision this week , here are four steps:
1. Bathe the decision in much prayer. The more you pray – the more easily it will be to make the right decision.
2. Ground the decision in God’s Word: If the decision you are about to make goes counter to the Word of God – you can be guaranteed it will not produce the results that will be best for you.
3. Surround the decision with godly counsel: The Bible tells us there is safety in a multitude of counselors. Sometimes a neutral party can see what you don’t see because you may be clouded with extreme emotion.
4. Don’t ignore the decision: Simply not making a decision will not make the situation go away. Procrastination will kill even the most sincere attempts to make a smooth landing. Remember the guy who was parachuting and put off his decision to pull the rip cord will never have the opportunity to fly again.