The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a classic with most couples and marriage mentors and has won the hearts of many people. Over the years of mentoring and counseling couples one particular love language has become paramount in our technological society. It is the desire to be heard, whether twitter, texting, email, cell phone, Facebook, Myspace or a host of other communication tools; the message is the same: someone listen to me.
Overworked, stressed, and under appreciated housewives have found an emotional outlet in technology and after the kids are down for their afternoon naps, exhausted moms are reaching out on the media connectors. The drastic search for "small talk," the desire for connection and the "inner want" to be cared for, cause the heart to wander and seemingly insignificant compromises are made until "man meets woman."
"Just a friend," "Someone to talk to," "Meaningful conversation," until connection turns to emotional and sometimes, physical attraction. Some are addicted to the "white knight" syndrome thinking that someone is waiting to sweep the harried mother, out of her present stress and doldrums, and into the relationship she has "always dreamed of."
What awaits however, is loss of family, health, emotional downfalls, and spiritual drainage. One such mother confessed, "I lost it - in fact, I lost it all." Another admitted, "He wanted sex, I wanted so much more." The Internet "white knight" is often a wolf in sheep's clothing. Lust for men is sex and lust for women is covetousness for something more - sometimes for something that doesn't exists.
Communication is the key to a successful marriage. We will present more effective communication tools in our next blog.
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