How God Makes Men

The author, Patrick Morley, is well known as a leader in preparing and discipling men. He takes giant steps towards developing men alongside biblical characters who have learned the lessons of life. The author takes ten of the most well known characters of the Bible and wraps their life around men. The principles he gleans are just some of the treasures waiting in this book. Get your highlighter, Bible and pen ready to explore God's power for men today. The publisher provided me with an Advance Review Copy (ARC) of this book in exchange for an honest review. I was not required to write a favorable review.

Investing Into Your Marriage

People sometimes marry for all the wrong reasons. When a couple marries, it develops into a frenzy of emotion – sadly, for some; it only lasts for a few years before love fades, collapsing into separation and misunderstanding.

Love must be, should be, something more than physical. Regardless how the movies portray marriage – love develops over time. Two people grow in love with each other until more is invested in the marriage than one is willing to withdraw from.

Investing into your marriage becomes the diamond of beauty

Investing in the love, the husband and wife share, is called commitment. It isn’t give and take – it is give and give. Investment usually involves putting someone of value into something we trust. Marriage defined is putting something we value into the one we trust.

For many – to be able to trust the one you love with your soul, your thoughts, your life, your being, your secrets and your dreams is the peak of love. Moving from emotion to trust is a major step in marriage. After the struggle to survive often a couple will find a deeper love and a deeper trust in one another.

Making deposits into your checkbook guarantees’ you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Making deposits into your marriage guarantees you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Life has a way of making one withdrawal after the other – depleting the account. We must add deposits intentionally and on a regular basis.

 

The more you put into your marriage the more you are able to take out of your marriage

 

Simply investing more into your marriage than you are taking out isn’t just good business sense but it is simply good sense. Let’s look at some common sense ways we can’t invest into our marriage:

Expressions Of Love Holding her hand as you walk together, rubbing her shoulders, or a gentle hug when she comes in from work is adding value in your marriage. It is said a wife needs seven nonsexual touches a day for emotional well being. Don’t be like one guy who patted his wife on the back seven times and felt he had accomplished his expression of love.

Spend Prime Time Together Taking a walk together, grabbing a cup of coffee, taking her lunch to her at work, watching a movie together after the kids have gone to bed, can be prime time events investing into your love relationship.

Write a Note Slipping a note into her lunch bag, having a note posted to the bathroom mirror or having a card waiting for her on the dinner table can fill the emotional love tank up to full. Write meaningful, heartfelt words that you noted her beauty, her strength, her character or her recent decisions.

Pray Together Discover each other's needs. Pray for each other and confess your own weaknesses. Praying together over your marriage, over your home and over your children will multiply your deposits.

You might think of something that creates a better atmosphere of love in your home but whatever you do you must do regularly, continually making deposits into your marriage.

Comment: What would you add to this list of deposits?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Commandments for Husbands

Respect and honor your wife

Keep your heart and mind pure for her

Tell her often you love her

Don’t forget important dates (birthdays, anniversaries)

Admire her strengths and life her up in her weaknesses

Date her often

Visit her family

Spend prime time together

Compliment her

Pray “God make me a better husband everyday.”

Comment below: Can you add another?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Confessions of a Father

The day after Father’s Day and back to work but not without some important changes. Several fathers admit there are some things they would like to change. They want to change their family future.

Most father’s admit they aren’t for sure what is expected of them and what they must do to accomplish being a “good” father. They support their family with a good work ethic, provide for the needs of the family and go to church but father’s are asking, “is something missing?”

Let’s look at what children really need from their father if we are to find adequate answers. It is true families need to be provided for but new shoes will never take the place of a father pitching the ball to his son madly swinging a bat in all the wrong directions.

Of all the requests that come from families for dad to do this or that – the most requested item is – “we just want Dad to be with us.”

“Dad time” is the most important item we can give to a child. Let’s look at some prime “dad time” ideas:

Being one to one with your child The highlight of a child’s week is when he is picked to go with dad. We must be fair to balance it out when there are more children but this “gift” of time with a child being one on one with Dad is one of the most important aspects of a child’s life.

Praying with your child Praying together makes our heart soft and grants a connection with a child, only God can give. When my children we young there were times I asked my son or daughter to forgive me for being angry, only to hear those innocence words come back, “I forgive you Dad.” Precious time is invested in a child when you are on your knees.

Love their mother Your children will find no greater security than when a Dad shows affection to their momma. A dad who expresses honor and affection to their children’s mother is a wise man.

Comment below: Do you have a “DAD TIME” moment you would like to share?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Six Ways to Settle an Argument

You are not responsible for their actions but you are responsible for your reactions. A tense disagreement can ruin a relationship. Stress drives anger to the boiling point. We can learn to disagree agreeable and take the steering wheel in our hands. Let's look at Six Ways to Settle an Argument:

Lower your voice. A loud voice doesn't exert authority but only exemplifies your loss of control. "A soft answer turns away wrath," the psalmist David advises. You don't win by getting louder - you only escalate the problem.

Understand different interpretations. Even Matthew, Mark, Luke and John told the story of Christ through a different lens. Your personality, upbringing, environment, childhood and education will make a difference on how you view ideas around you. Allow for different interpretations. Your opinion is just that - an opinion. Don't put people in a box, your box.

Be ready to forgive. I'm sorry but... isn't really an apology. Saying your sorry has become such cheap words when said many times without change. It is better to say, "Would you forgive me? I will do my best to do better and to change."

Find common ground. Instead of magnifying the areas you don't agree on find the areas you do agree on. Find a common place to begin with.

Don't go to bed mad. You subconscious dwells on your most emotional downturn of the day, causing you to build a wall, one brick at a time. Unresolved conflict is still a conflict. Take care of the matter before it gets bigger.

Pray about it. Pray for you and pray for them. Pray for them to change after you pray for you to change. Remember Jesus forgave you. If the conflict still burns like fire in your bosom then most likely you have not forgiven yet.

Comment Below: Do you have a story of forgiveness?

Copyright By Jim Laudell. Permission must be obtained from the author to reporduce or copy.

Family Dinner

The family dinner table is often a lost art. In the black and white days, “Leave it to Beaver,” the popular TV show of the 50’s, the Cleaver family met regularly for the dinner meal. Today times have changed; parents work overtime at the job, run off to take the kids to soccer practice and a myriad of other hobbies, interests and responsibilities consumer the evening hours.

Strong families have strong values. Coming together regularly may sound nostalgic, old-fashioned or even of the Puritan era but research shows families who take time to be together “on purpose” will survive the storms of family life.

The National Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) study shows, that families who eat together are most likely to do well in school, eat nutritious foods, practice good tables matters and the report included, that table dinners with the family has an impact on delaying sexual activity. Plus, teens are less likely to smoke, do drugs, drink alcohol, be depressed or consider suicide. I realize many other reasons for this family improvement can be factored in to this equation but the matter is resolved, families who have a regular time of meeting around the dinner table show improvement in several life choices.

Straying from negative subjects is of extreme importance when eating. Turning all cell phones on silent and having a set time for dinner so the entire family can participate are of great value. So let’s pull the recipe book out, carve out some delicious meals for the weekly menu, turn the TV off and enjoy a family time together around the dinner table.

LISTENING: The Essential Love Language

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a classic with most couples and marriage mentors and has won the hearts of many people. Over the years of mentoring and counseling couples one particular love language has become paramount in our technological society. It is the desire to be heard, whether twitter, texting, email, cell phone, Facebook, Myspace or a host of other communication tools; the message is the same: someone listen to me.

Overworked, stressed, and under appreciated housewives have found an emotional outlet in technology and after the kids are down for their afternoon naps, exhausted moms are reaching out on the media connectors. The drastic search for "small talk," the desire for connection and the "inner want" to be cared for, cause the heart to wander and seemingly insignificant compromises are made until "man meets woman."

"Just a friend," "Someone to talk to," "Meaningful conversation," until connection turns to emotional and sometimes, physical attraction. Some are addicted to the "white knight" syndrome thinking that someone is waiting to sweep the harried mother, out of her present stress and doldrums, and into the relationship she has "always dreamed of."

What awaits however, is loss of family, health, emotional downfalls, and spiritual drainage. One such mother confessed, "I lost it - in fact, I lost it all." Another admitted, "He wanted sex, I wanted so much more." The Internet "white knight" is often a wolf in sheep's clothing. Lust for men is sex and lust for women is covetousness for something more - sometimes for something that doesn't exists.

Communication is the key to a successful marriage. We will present more effective communication tools in our next blog.