How God Makes Men

The author, Patrick Morley, is well known as a leader in preparing and discipling men. He takes giant steps towards developing men alongside biblical characters who have learned the lessons of life. The author takes ten of the most well known characters of the Bible and wraps their life around men. The principles he gleans are just some of the treasures waiting in this book. Get your highlighter, Bible and pen ready to explore God's power for men today. The publisher provided me with an Advance Review Copy (ARC) of this book in exchange for an honest review. I was not required to write a favorable review.

Three Questions Every Married Women is Asking

Married women are asking questions and nobody dare to answer them and there are three major reasons why. The first is no one really knows what the questions are. Secondly, most are afraid to answer the questions, and thirdly, most married women who ask questions aren't really looking for answers.

But if we did know what the questions are and if we can assume they really want answers and we dare to walk where angels fear to tread, then read on, at your own risk, because women can answer a question without really giving an answer but be careful, be very careful, to the man who endeavors to answer the question, (see point three above).

The three questions most married women are asking:

1.       Does my husband think I still look good?

2.       Does my husband still love me?

3.       Is my husband listening to me?

Now, I know I will get emails and other comments saying that is NOT the question they are asking and I must admit, there are many more questions married women are asking but remember I am a male, I am writing this from a husband prospective. When women ask questions these are the three questions most husbands are hearing.

First, does my husband think I still look good? Your husband may or may not have married you for your looks. If you actually wowed him during courtship then you may have some reasons to worry when you reach 75 but when you are 75 there are many more ways to keep him around for a few more years. But most husbands marry because he enjoyed being around you, (assuming of course, that women are actually reading this blog). He married you for fun, laughs, good times; he felt completed with you and would not be completed without you.

Let me explain, women think men marry for sex but actually most men marry for strokes. They actually like to be petted, nursed, carried for, and bragged on. If you make your husband feel good when he comes home from work then you will see him continue to come home from work. Your greatest marriage insurance is to brag on your husband, compliment him.

As far as still looking good to him, sure, brush your hair, put on perfume, wear something fresh but most of all greet him with a smile – make him feel good to be home.

Secondly, does my husband still love me? Well, most likely so but men don’t communicate like women or as often as women. Squeezing an “I love you,” from his lips may be more difficult than most women realize but it doesn’t change his thoughts towards you. Men communicate love with gifts, time, protection, a service (mow, take out the trash, etc), or wrestling with the kids. I agree, men need to practice saying, I love you, to their wife and showing it but don’t be startled if he hasn’t said, “I love you” in a while but today could be different. (Men, if you have waded through this blog this far then you need this, tell your wife today, “I love you”). Ladies, give him a reason to say, “I love you.”

Thirdly, is my husband listening to me? “No!” I mean, “Yes!” Well, sometimes. Would you mind repeating the question? Men are compartmentalized. It is an understatement to say that men are preoccupied. They carry their work in their head; they bury their nose in a newspaper or stare at a computer screen for hours and hardly come up for air. This is his way to escape but check his pulse occasionally.

Let me give you some ideas:

Don’t try to lay heavy decisions upon him when he first comes home from work – bluntly, he isn’t listening.

Don’t try to have an important conversation with him right before dinner – he isn’t listening.

Don’t interrupt his game, his reading or his sleep – he isn’t listening.

Instead, wait till he has been home about an hour, after supper and after his planned escape (rest time), then sit next to him and say, “You always seem to have such good advice; I need some input, would you help me?” The damsel in distress! Yes, he is listening. By giving a compliment, asking for an answer and asking for help, you have just tapped into the male brain to come to the rescue.

When you need to ask a question in a hurry, make sure you are looking at him and he is looking at you. Men need to see you to hear you – most of the time. (Men, again, if you have waded this far you are in way over your head, but the next time your wife needs to talk to you about something, look her in the eyes and give her the honor of having your complete attention. In other words, turn your phone on silent and put it in your pocket).

Well, I just thought of a few more questions… maybe, next time.

Ten Commandments for Husbands

Respect and honor your wife

Keep your heart and mind pure for her

Tell her often you love her

Don’t forget important dates (birthdays, anniversaries)

Admire her strengths and life her up in her weaknesses

Date her often

Visit her family

Spend prime time together

Compliment her

Pray “God make me a better husband everyday.”

Comment below: Can you add another?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

I love love

This is a guest post by Josh Hood. A great young speaker and blogger. You can catch up with him at joshuamhood.com and twitter.com/JoshuaMHood

I love love.

I love how it compels young couples to hold hands. It’s like love makes their hands magnetic.

I love how it fills their stomachs with butterflies and their eyes with stars.

I love love.

I love how it covers a multitude of faults (1 Peter 4:8). I love how it has the power to melt the hardest heart and soften the bitterest soul.

Like the pounding surf washes away words written in the sand on the beach, the waves of love can wash away the offenses and disagreements etched in the sandy soil of our hearts.

I love love.

I love the loyalty and commitment love gives birth to. It compels an old man to stay by the bedside of his dying wife in the hospital. It compels a young mother to sit up all night with her sick child.

A thousand miles seems a long way to drive… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing. A thousand hours seems a long time to work… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing. A thousand dollars seems a lot to give… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing.

I love love.

Love has an impressive resume. A long list of relationships healed and great feats accomplished. But at the very top of the list is the greatest thing love ever did…

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Love sent a Savior.

I smile softly and let out a gentle sigh every time I read those words.

Yes, indeed. I love love.

Comment below: Do you have a story of unending love?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Confessions of a Father

The day after Father’s Day and back to work but not without some important changes. Several fathers admit there are some things they would like to change. They want to change their family future.

Most father’s admit they aren’t for sure what is expected of them and what they must do to accomplish being a “good” father. They support their family with a good work ethic, provide for the needs of the family and go to church but father’s are asking, “is something missing?”

Let’s look at what children really need from their father if we are to find adequate answers. It is true families need to be provided for but new shoes will never take the place of a father pitching the ball to his son madly swinging a bat in all the wrong directions.

Of all the requests that come from families for dad to do this or that – the most requested item is – “we just want Dad to be with us.”

“Dad time” is the most important item we can give to a child. Let’s look at some prime “dad time” ideas:

Being one to one with your child The highlight of a child’s week is when he is picked to go with dad. We must be fair to balance it out when there are more children but this “gift” of time with a child being one on one with Dad is one of the most important aspects of a child’s life.

Praying with your child Praying together makes our heart soft and grants a connection with a child, only God can give. When my children we young there were times I asked my son or daughter to forgive me for being angry, only to hear those innocence words come back, “I forgive you Dad.” Precious time is invested in a child when you are on your knees.

Love their mother Your children will find no greater security than when a Dad shows affection to their momma. A dad who expresses honor and affection to their children’s mother is a wise man.

Comment below: Do you have a “DAD TIME” moment you would like to share?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Six Ways to Settle an Argument

You are not responsible for their actions but you are responsible for your reactions. A tense disagreement can ruin a relationship. Stress drives anger to the boiling point. We can learn to disagree agreeable and take the steering wheel in our hands. Let's look at Six Ways to Settle an Argument:

Lower your voice. A loud voice doesn't exert authority but only exemplifies your loss of control. "A soft answer turns away wrath," the psalmist David advises. You don't win by getting louder - you only escalate the problem.

Understand different interpretations. Even Matthew, Mark, Luke and John told the story of Christ through a different lens. Your personality, upbringing, environment, childhood and education will make a difference on how you view ideas around you. Allow for different interpretations. Your opinion is just that - an opinion. Don't put people in a box, your box.

Be ready to forgive. I'm sorry but... isn't really an apology. Saying your sorry has become such cheap words when said many times without change. It is better to say, "Would you forgive me? I will do my best to do better and to change."

Find common ground. Instead of magnifying the areas you don't agree on find the areas you do agree on. Find a common place to begin with.

Don't go to bed mad. You subconscious dwells on your most emotional downturn of the day, causing you to build a wall, one brick at a time. Unresolved conflict is still a conflict. Take care of the matter before it gets bigger.

Pray about it. Pray for you and pray for them. Pray for them to change after you pray for you to change. Remember Jesus forgave you. If the conflict still burns like fire in your bosom then most likely you have not forgiven yet.

Comment Below: Do you have a story of forgiveness?

Copyright By Jim Laudell. Permission must be obtained from the author to reporduce or copy.

Essence of a Home

If the home of a man is truly his castle and the heart of the home is a woman then the essence of a home is best defined as love. According to dictionary.com, the word essence means, "the inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything."

Essence would be the oil of an engine to keep it running smoothly and efficiently.

Essence is the blood flow through the passage ways of a body.

Essence is the warmth of a stove on a cold winter day.

Rare is the moment when the home is a rose strewn path of unceasing ease but rather it has become a ritual, much like tug of war. Yet, each and every one of us can compose this "essence of a home," as a great symphonic sheet of music.

For essence is best blended with atmosphere created by attittude. My determination in the morning sets the mix for the day. Guarding my words, softening my touch, beckoning with a smile bring the desired results of essence.

To create essence however, is not all on my own, one essential ingredient is missing, Prayer.

Prayer is the divine supplier of essence. To create atmosphere we must intialize the presence of God and bring peace into the home. Certainly the umpire of the soul and spirit is the presence of God. To comprise the quietness in the midst of the storm I must invite the one whom the winds and waves obey. To combine two living souls together in harmony I should invite the heavenly maestro.

Yes, essence of the home is the work of a compassionate Savior.

Attitude - the Greatest Ingredient to a Life Long Marriage

When Brad and Leah (fictitious names) decided to get married Leah had long been ready. However, Brad had always wanted to start his career first, and then after he hit the top mark in his company, he would think about getting married but love changed his plans. You would expected this young entrepreneur to come home each day with excitement in his voice as he took his young, beautiful bride in his arms but just ten months after their wedding day she joyfully expressed to him that she was expecting. Brad slipped into a depressive mode, he worked late hours, he was explosive at home and his young bride was confused and hurt.Brad was depressed over educational bills, his attempts at climbing the corporate ladder was more difficult then he first assumed, his first year of marriage (in his interpretation) was disrupted by the unexpected pregnancy and his wife seemed distant.

When "career" is placed first and family is placed a distant second or third or even fourth, then the inevitable happens and home is no longer a castle but rather the moat. We can always use hindsight and say it would have been better had they waited but they didn't. Now we must work with what we have instead of focus on what we haven't.A change of attitude cannot make the bad go away but a change of attitude can make the bad better and more bearable. A change of attitude can make the home smell like a fresh cut bouquet instead of smelling like a sewage treatment plant. But isn't changing our attitude in our marriage easier said than done. It isn't easy but it is possible. Taking Brad through the steps of an "attitude change" wasn't easy but the improvements were noticeable right away. Here are a few steps into making an "attitude adjustment" at home:

1. Say "I Love You" often and mean it. Seems to be a simple process but it is definitely the first step. The Holy Bible tells us that "Love covers a multitude of sins." Being a loving and forgiving individual is the first step to an abrupt attitude change.
   
2. Don't play the blame game. Blaming others for our own circumstances causes our own heart to react like a volcano. We never know when he is going to blow. "If you don't like what you have then leave" is the quick advice of overpaid counselors but laying aside the blame and walking into forgiveness can rectify the most damaged of lives.
   
3. Your goals are still attainable. It is easy to think that you haven't reached your "pie in the sky" because of the hindrances at home but you goals are still attainable. You still have the job, the education, the future and now you have a family to take with you.
   
4. Set priorities for life. Set your priorities to win life not money. Many have escalated quickly into the upward spiral of finances only to lose the things that were closest to their heart. Who do you really love? What do you really want? You can find the greatest satisfaction in your home when you change who is important. Don't lay aside your career decisions just reevaluate what is important - make a decision that will give the longest lasting results.
   
5. Hang your coat outside. A business man, with an overloaded mind, would always hang his coat outside, as his way of saying, "Whatever it was that got to me today, I am not taking it in the house." Leave your work at work and find the joy of loving the time spent, priority time, with your husband/wife and children.
   
6. Attitude is everything. Great business advice and even better home advice. Take a fresh new attitude home and watch the children run to you instead of away from you. Isolation is not fun but an attitude can bring amazing changes into your life and marriage.