Investing Into Your Marriage

People sometimes marry for all the wrong reasons. When a couple marries, it develops into a frenzy of emotion – sadly, for some; it only lasts for a few years before love fades, collapsing into separation and misunderstanding.

Love must be, should be, something more than physical. Regardless how the movies portray marriage – love develops over time. Two people grow in love with each other until more is invested in the marriage than one is willing to withdraw from.

Investing into your marriage becomes the diamond of beauty

Investing in the love, the husband and wife share, is called commitment. It isn’t give and take – it is give and give. Investment usually involves putting someone of value into something we trust. Marriage defined is putting something we value into the one we trust.

For many – to be able to trust the one you love with your soul, your thoughts, your life, your being, your secrets and your dreams is the peak of love. Moving from emotion to trust is a major step in marriage. After the struggle to survive often a couple will find a deeper love and a deeper trust in one another.

Making deposits into your checkbook guarantees’ you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Making deposits into your marriage guarantees you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Life has a way of making one withdrawal after the other – depleting the account. We must add deposits intentionally and on a regular basis.

 

The more you put into your marriage the more you are able to take out of your marriage

 

Simply investing more into your marriage than you are taking out isn’t just good business sense but it is simply good sense. Let’s look at some common sense ways we can’t invest into our marriage:

Expressions Of Love Holding her hand as you walk together, rubbing her shoulders, or a gentle hug when she comes in from work is adding value in your marriage. It is said a wife needs seven nonsexual touches a day for emotional well being. Don’t be like one guy who patted his wife on the back seven times and felt he had accomplished his expression of love.

Spend Prime Time Together Taking a walk together, grabbing a cup of coffee, taking her lunch to her at work, watching a movie together after the kids have gone to bed, can be prime time events investing into your love relationship.

Write a Note Slipping a note into her lunch bag, having a note posted to the bathroom mirror or having a card waiting for her on the dinner table can fill the emotional love tank up to full. Write meaningful, heartfelt words that you noted her beauty, her strength, her character or her recent decisions.

Pray Together Discover each other's needs. Pray for each other and confess your own weaknesses. Praying together over your marriage, over your home and over your children will multiply your deposits.

You might think of something that creates a better atmosphere of love in your home but whatever you do you must do regularly, continually making deposits into your marriage.

Comment: What would you add to this list of deposits?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Change Your Marriage this Week!

I want a better marriage! The stone faced couple sat in front of me with tear filled eyes. They were hurt and wounded but lacked the wisdom to turn their marriage around. "Do you have a checkbook?" After they answered, taking the checkbook I explained, taking withdrawals without deposits would soon cost them more, with bank charges, then they originally had. Do you wish to have the marriage you had when you first married? They both answered an emphatic , "Yes!"
The reason for our "first love" immensity is the amount of deposits we put into the love scenario. The more you put into the marriage - the more you are able to withdrawal. Both had been taking out of the marriage without any deposits into the marriage.
Maybe you find yourself in this same predicament. You see the both of you taking out of the marriage but not putting anything back. Here are a few deposits you must put into the marriage "checking account" today.
Compliment Giving your spouse a genuine and sincere complement is like filling up the gas tank - you cn go a long ways on one compliment. Giving a heartfelt, "Wow! that was a great dinner." "Wow! you sure look great today." "Wow! you are the best ever." The "wow!" compliments can change a marriage from bad to good or from good to great in a matter of days but don't give and expect a "wow!" back. Simply give the compliment without an expected return of a compliment.
Care Giving a few simply "love pats" throughout the day lets your spouse know you acknowledge their presence. These touches should accumulate approximately seven a day to sufficiently express your thoughts and actions towards your spouse. "Love pats" can be a soft shoulder rub, a hug, a kiss on the check, holding their hand or a pat on the shoulder or back. Theses are nonsexual and not to be considered as an advance but simply a "love pat" of acknowledgement and love.
Considerate Ask honest and open-ended questions about their day, or how they feel or what's on their mind and get ready to listen. Listening is the lost art of love in many marriages. Focus your eyes, attention and heart on the one speaking. Show concern and be considerate. Husbands, you are not fixing the problem (my greatest fault) but you are simply listening and being considerate of their "bad day" experiences. You are feeling for them not fixing them.
Combine Work together. Worship together. Have fun together. Work in the yard together. Clean house together. Wash dishes together. Go on a walk together. Date, of course, together. Go to a coffee shop together. Go on a drive through the country together. Plan your vacation together. You get the picture - combine your efforts into one goal.
Call Whether you are on a business trip or working in your office - send your spouse a text message or call just to say, "I love you." Write a note and leave it for him/her when they open their lunch sack. Throughout the day let your spouse know you are thinking of them.
Complete God is the glue of the marriage and prayer is the application of the glue. To complete a marriage you must pray together. I pray, "Help me, Lord, to be the kind of husband you would be proud of." My wife prays, "Help me, Lord, be the kind of wife you would be proud of." We ask each other to forgive us for words, thoughts or actions that are creating friction rather than a loving environment. we pray together, "Lord, bless our marriage as an inspiration to others."
Comment: What are some deposits you make in your marriage that would be helpful to others?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

I love love

This is a guest post by Josh Hood. A great young speaker and blogger. You can catch up with him at joshuamhood.com and twitter.com/JoshuaMHood

I love love.

I love how it compels young couples to hold hands. It’s like love makes their hands magnetic.

I love how it fills their stomachs with butterflies and their eyes with stars.

I love love.

I love how it covers a multitude of faults (1 Peter 4:8). I love how it has the power to melt the hardest heart and soften the bitterest soul.

Like the pounding surf washes away words written in the sand on the beach, the waves of love can wash away the offenses and disagreements etched in the sandy soil of our hearts.

I love love.

I love the loyalty and commitment love gives birth to. It compels an old man to stay by the bedside of his dying wife in the hospital. It compels a young mother to sit up all night with her sick child.

A thousand miles seems a long way to drive… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing. A thousand hours seems a long time to work… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing. A thousand dollars seems a lot to give… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing.

I love love.

Love has an impressive resume. A long list of relationships healed and great feats accomplished. But at the very top of the list is the greatest thing love ever did…

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Love sent a Savior.

I smile softly and let out a gentle sigh every time I read those words.

Yes, indeed. I love love.

Comment below: Do you have a story of unending love?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Confessions of a Father

The day after Father’s Day and back to work but not without some important changes. Several fathers admit there are some things they would like to change. They want to change their family future.

Most father’s admit they aren’t for sure what is expected of them and what they must do to accomplish being a “good” father. They support their family with a good work ethic, provide for the needs of the family and go to church but father’s are asking, “is something missing?”

Let’s look at what children really need from their father if we are to find adequate answers. It is true families need to be provided for but new shoes will never take the place of a father pitching the ball to his son madly swinging a bat in all the wrong directions.

Of all the requests that come from families for dad to do this or that – the most requested item is – “we just want Dad to be with us.”

“Dad time” is the most important item we can give to a child. Let’s look at some prime “dad time” ideas:

Being one to one with your child The highlight of a child’s week is when he is picked to go with dad. We must be fair to balance it out when there are more children but this “gift” of time with a child being one on one with Dad is one of the most important aspects of a child’s life.

Praying with your child Praying together makes our heart soft and grants a connection with a child, only God can give. When my children we young there were times I asked my son or daughter to forgive me for being angry, only to hear those innocence words come back, “I forgive you Dad.” Precious time is invested in a child when you are on your knees.

Love their mother Your children will find no greater security than when a Dad shows affection to their momma. A dad who expresses honor and affection to their children’s mother is a wise man.

Comment below: Do you have a “DAD TIME” moment you would like to share?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Family Dinner

The family dinner table is often a lost art. In the black and white days, “Leave it to Beaver,” the popular TV show of the 50’s, the Cleaver family met regularly for the dinner meal. Today times have changed; parents work overtime at the job, run off to take the kids to soccer practice and a myriad of other hobbies, interests and responsibilities consumer the evening hours.

Strong families have strong values. Coming together regularly may sound nostalgic, old-fashioned or even of the Puritan era but research shows families who take time to be together “on purpose” will survive the storms of family life.

The National Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) study shows, that families who eat together are most likely to do well in school, eat nutritious foods, practice good tables matters and the report included, that table dinners with the family has an impact on delaying sexual activity. Plus, teens are less likely to smoke, do drugs, drink alcohol, be depressed or consider suicide. I realize many other reasons for this family improvement can be factored in to this equation but the matter is resolved, families who have a regular time of meeting around the dinner table show improvement in several life choices.

Straying from negative subjects is of extreme importance when eating. Turning all cell phones on silent and having a set time for dinner so the entire family can participate are of great value. So let’s pull the recipe book out, carve out some delicious meals for the weekly menu, turn the TV off and enjoy a family time together around the dinner table.

Family Fun

The most bonding of all family events is having fun together. Laughing, throwing a ball, a picnic, vacation, surprise visit, birthday parties, and a long list of a lot more. We all stake our claim to busyness but we need to funny business going on win our family life. Taking the children for a walk, a trip to the zoo, a children's event, pizza or camping out in the living room are once in a lifetime events that children and families will remember forever. Take the camera or a video camera and get double the fun by doing popcorn and a video the following weekend. Turn off the TV, set your voicemail to pick up business after your trip out and have fun. One of the greatest investments we made was a condo on the lake that we frequent with our family. Skype the relatives that live a far distance from you and let the children visit with relatives you wouldn't normally see very often.
Fun is spelled Forever - the time you will have will indelibly be etched in a child's memory forever. Unique - the different, outlandish and sometimes, odd will make the most impact. Not expensive - fun doesn't have to cost very much. Look for the free or inexpensive family oriented events in your area. Make a list that can be referred to from time to time.
Let's get started this weekend.

Rating Children's Movies

In the reinvention stage several black and white classical themes and characters are being recreated into culturally relevant pseudo movies. These cartoon character movies are aimed at children, ages 7 to 14, but characterize demonic, anti-God and sexual innuendoes aimed at diverting, de-sensitizing and perverting.
According to a Christian publication, in one children’s movie, rated PG, there was 1 sexual verbiage, 5 profanities, and twice disrespected God with a laugh and a sneer. Focus on the Family reports a recent pirate cartoon includes 5 curse words, including taking the name of the Lord God in vain plus, several sexual allusions, including a nudist boat, (though all is covered by camera angle) and an island where the women are covered only by their long hair and flowers.
Without being thought a prude, old-fashioned, negative or “holy Joe” let me contend for the children. While it is most impossible to cover the “little ones” eyes every time they go into the grocery store it is most possible to shield our children from the entertainment that introduces crude language, amoral sexual behavior and other “innocent(?)” attacks on moral standards of the Christian family.
This is no longer the clean humor of Porky Pig, Mickey Mouse or Clifford the Dog. Cartoon or otherwise, PG rating or not, we must guard the hearts of children and maintain their innocence as long as possible. And in the popular Facebook language, “Just sayin….”

A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.

After 31 years of marriage, that's 31 Christmas holiday events, we are still planning, spending, preparing, baking, partying, gifting, tasting, decorating, scheduling, giving, going, and more. Yes, we have experienced headaches, sore feet, empty checkbooks and cold weather but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We feel the pain of the holidays, the stress of the schedules and the overspending on the presents and I get angry, stressed, head achy, and frazzled but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We have two grandchildren (I have pictures if you care to see them), Jake, one year old, and Kallee who was born this past Dec 3rd. We have two children, both married, who are spending Christmas with their relatives this year Rather than soak and soar; or sit and mope, we have decided to go off for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, just a couple of hours away. I found a 3.5 star hotel on Hotwire for half the price and we plan to look at Christmas lights, explore Tulsa shops and find nice restaurants to eat at and exchange gifts Christmas eve. My wife and I are still having a great time together.

Oh, we disagree, fuss, complain and the usual holiday medley but my wife and I are still having a great time together, We have cried, laughed, prayed and sometimes worried but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We have enjoyed a great past, looking forward to a blessed future and my plans include her and her plans include me. My wife and I are still having a great time together.