Investing Into Your Marriage

People sometimes marry for all the wrong reasons. When a couple marries, it develops into a frenzy of emotion – sadly, for some; it only lasts for a few years before love fades, collapsing into separation and misunderstanding.

Love must be, should be, something more than physical. Regardless how the movies portray marriage – love develops over time. Two people grow in love with each other until more is invested in the marriage than one is willing to withdraw from.

Investing into your marriage becomes the diamond of beauty

Investing in the love, the husband and wife share, is called commitment. It isn’t give and take – it is give and give. Investment usually involves putting someone of value into something we trust. Marriage defined is putting something we value into the one we trust.

For many – to be able to trust the one you love with your soul, your thoughts, your life, your being, your secrets and your dreams is the peak of love. Moving from emotion to trust is a major step in marriage. After the struggle to survive often a couple will find a deeper love and a deeper trust in one another.

Making deposits into your checkbook guarantees’ you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Making deposits into your marriage guarantees you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Life has a way of making one withdrawal after the other – depleting the account. We must add deposits intentionally and on a regular basis.

 

The more you put into your marriage the more you are able to take out of your marriage

 

Simply investing more into your marriage than you are taking out isn’t just good business sense but it is simply good sense. Let’s look at some common sense ways we can’t invest into our marriage:

Expressions Of Love Holding her hand as you walk together, rubbing her shoulders, or a gentle hug when she comes in from work is adding value in your marriage. It is said a wife needs seven nonsexual touches a day for emotional well being. Don’t be like one guy who patted his wife on the back seven times and felt he had accomplished his expression of love.

Spend Prime Time Together Taking a walk together, grabbing a cup of coffee, taking her lunch to her at work, watching a movie together after the kids have gone to bed, can be prime time events investing into your love relationship.

Write a Note Slipping a note into her lunch bag, having a note posted to the bathroom mirror or having a card waiting for her on the dinner table can fill the emotional love tank up to full. Write meaningful, heartfelt words that you noted her beauty, her strength, her character or her recent decisions.

Pray Together Discover each other's needs. Pray for each other and confess your own weaknesses. Praying together over your marriage, over your home and over your children will multiply your deposits.

You might think of something that creates a better atmosphere of love in your home but whatever you do you must do regularly, continually making deposits into your marriage.

Comment: What would you add to this list of deposits?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Change Your Marriage this Week!

I want a better marriage! The stone faced couple sat in front of me with tear filled eyes. They were hurt and wounded but lacked the wisdom to turn their marriage around. "Do you have a checkbook?" After they answered, taking the checkbook I explained, taking withdrawals without deposits would soon cost them more, with bank charges, then they originally had. Do you wish to have the marriage you had when you first married? They both answered an emphatic , "Yes!"
The reason for our "first love" immensity is the amount of deposits we put into the love scenario. The more you put into the marriage - the more you are able to withdrawal. Both had been taking out of the marriage without any deposits into the marriage.
Maybe you find yourself in this same predicament. You see the both of you taking out of the marriage but not putting anything back. Here are a few deposits you must put into the marriage "checking account" today.
Compliment Giving your spouse a genuine and sincere complement is like filling up the gas tank - you cn go a long ways on one compliment. Giving a heartfelt, "Wow! that was a great dinner." "Wow! you sure look great today." "Wow! you are the best ever." The "wow!" compliments can change a marriage from bad to good or from good to great in a matter of days but don't give and expect a "wow!" back. Simply give the compliment without an expected return of a compliment.
Care Giving a few simply "love pats" throughout the day lets your spouse know you acknowledge their presence. These touches should accumulate approximately seven a day to sufficiently express your thoughts and actions towards your spouse. "Love pats" can be a soft shoulder rub, a hug, a kiss on the check, holding their hand or a pat on the shoulder or back. Theses are nonsexual and not to be considered as an advance but simply a "love pat" of acknowledgement and love.
Considerate Ask honest and open-ended questions about their day, or how they feel or what's on their mind and get ready to listen. Listening is the lost art of love in many marriages. Focus your eyes, attention and heart on the one speaking. Show concern and be considerate. Husbands, you are not fixing the problem (my greatest fault) but you are simply listening and being considerate of their "bad day" experiences. You are feeling for them not fixing them.
Combine Work together. Worship together. Have fun together. Work in the yard together. Clean house together. Wash dishes together. Go on a walk together. Date, of course, together. Go to a coffee shop together. Go on a drive through the country together. Plan your vacation together. You get the picture - combine your efforts into one goal.
Call Whether you are on a business trip or working in your office - send your spouse a text message or call just to say, "I love you." Write a note and leave it for him/her when they open their lunch sack. Throughout the day let your spouse know you are thinking of them.
Complete God is the glue of the marriage and prayer is the application of the glue. To complete a marriage you must pray together. I pray, "Help me, Lord, to be the kind of husband you would be proud of." My wife prays, "Help me, Lord, be the kind of wife you would be proud of." We ask each other to forgive us for words, thoughts or actions that are creating friction rather than a loving environment. we pray together, "Lord, bless our marriage as an inspiration to others."
Comment: What are some deposits you make in your marriage that would be helpful to others?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

Ten Commandments for Husbands

Respect and honor your wife

Keep your heart and mind pure for her

Tell her often you love her

Don’t forget important dates (birthdays, anniversaries)

Admire her strengths and life her up in her weaknesses

Date her often

Visit her family

Spend prime time together

Compliment her

Pray “God make me a better husband everyday.”

Comment below: Can you add another?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Six Ways to Settle an Argument

You are not responsible for their actions but you are responsible for your reactions. A tense disagreement can ruin a relationship. Stress drives anger to the boiling point. We can learn to disagree agreeable and take the steering wheel in our hands. Let's look at Six Ways to Settle an Argument:

Lower your voice. A loud voice doesn't exert authority but only exemplifies your loss of control. "A soft answer turns away wrath," the psalmist David advises. You don't win by getting louder - you only escalate the problem.

Understand different interpretations. Even Matthew, Mark, Luke and John told the story of Christ through a different lens. Your personality, upbringing, environment, childhood and education will make a difference on how you view ideas around you. Allow for different interpretations. Your opinion is just that - an opinion. Don't put people in a box, your box.

Be ready to forgive. I'm sorry but... isn't really an apology. Saying your sorry has become such cheap words when said many times without change. It is better to say, "Would you forgive me? I will do my best to do better and to change."

Find common ground. Instead of magnifying the areas you don't agree on find the areas you do agree on. Find a common place to begin with.

Don't go to bed mad. You subconscious dwells on your most emotional downturn of the day, causing you to build a wall, one brick at a time. Unresolved conflict is still a conflict. Take care of the matter before it gets bigger.

Pray about it. Pray for you and pray for them. Pray for them to change after you pray for you to change. Remember Jesus forgave you. If the conflict still burns like fire in your bosom then most likely you have not forgiven yet.

Comment Below: Do you have a story of forgiveness?

Copyright By Jim Laudell. Permission must be obtained from the author to reporduce or copy.

How to Win the Heart of Your Teenager

Even though the years spent raising our teenagers weren’t perfect they were very good years. Now both are married and raising children and we are very proud of them and the advancement in their lives in all areas. All teenagers have specific needs and these needs are summed up in parental love and attention, here are three steps to winning the heart of your teenager.

Listen to them – whoever listens to your teenager will become their friend and guide. You may not agree to all they are saying but listen intently and lovingly.

Spend time with them – spend time with them doing what they enjoy doing.

Pray for them- the greatest thing you can ever do for your teen is to pray with them over their needs and to pray fervently for them.

Teamwork

Teamwork creates a sense of balance. Even if you don’t like people you must admit you like the variety of input they provide for the company or the product. Effective teamwork adds dimension, a creative approach and an aura of accountability. To make teamwork really work, simply means involving the team. Team effort creates energy and energy means productivity. Nothing creates energy like a team. Football is best played with both the defense and the offence doing what they do best. When people work as a team they feel motivated not isolated. Teamwork is always your best tool in the tool box. Teamwork is best accomplished when there is thorough communication – without communication, the entire process is doomed. Communication must be two way and an effective leader will hear from the team, as well as, speak to the team. Each member of the team knows what to expect – surprises, often, lead to rumors and gossip and confusion. Communication clearly defines expectations and applauds accomplishment.