Every man is asking three questions in life. To solve anyone
of these questions is a major accomplishment and would fuel his self worth and
personal achievements. When women know these questions and help “their man”
find the answers; she will benefit. Men who are confident are men who know how
to love. Relationships for a man are difficult unless he has a sense of
direction and an internal felling of value.
If men are asking questions then what are the questions and
where are the answers?
1.
How can be family be financially secure?
2.
How can I be a good father?
3.
How can I make my wife happy?
First men must understand who they are before they ask the
questions, “What can I do.”
Men
strive for success instead of value. Even small successes add to a
man’s ego but if a man would increase his value then he will be successful.
Value is expressed through fatherhood, loyalty to his wife and completion of a
“job well done.” Every man possesses extreme influence and offers amazing value
to his family but many men feel worthless, powerless and some even feel dumb.
Society hasn’t helped – it has endeavored to neutralize our men, men who have
lost conviction, strength and even, their faith. But value is created by
presence; taking time with a teenage son or daughter, dating his wife or
celebrating an accomplishment of his children. Cell phone fasting while
listening to the story of a son or daughter multiplies value to the time spent
with them.
Men
listen to “the lie.” “As a boy I …”, he begins and minutes later
ends with a story of loss, degradation or misuse. The pounding words of personality subtraction weigh upon his
mind until he no longer proudly proclaims, “I am a man.” Simply confessing “the
lie,” letting go of “the lie,” and substituting real truth for “the lie,” will set
a man free to enjoy his manliness. To be haunted with a lie instead
Men try
to control instead of lead. Men have confessed,”They aren’t listening
to me, so I just quit talking.” Instead of leading – he was demanding. Respect
isn’t demanded – it is earned. Showing the way instead of pushing into the
“right way” is a major tool in moving a son or daughter in the right direction.
When a loving father shows a loving example in a loving disposition then he
will reap loving children. I must admit I was not perfect as a father watching
two children grow up into amazing adults but God is merciful, often, I would
cry, “Lord, help me be the Father I need to be.” There is positional power where a man makes demands but at home there is personal power developing into loving
and long lasting relationships.
Men look
for acceptance in the wrong places. Pornography, an evening
working relationship with the opposite sex and long embraces put a man in a
whirlwind of disaster but the bottom answer is acceptance. Sex is not the drive
– acceptance is. “I felt I had finally accomplished something,” is the sad confession
of a fallen man. Marriage is the armour of God – my wife puts it on me every
day. My accountability partner is my wife; she assists in keeping me in the
boundaries. One of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is to accept
him in his faults and failures. Praying
together creates a strong bond of commitment and acceptance.
Comment: What would you add to this article to
bring men up to their value?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be
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while giving credit to the author
Tommy Barnett has proven himself as a leader, he is Senior Pastor of one of the largest churches in Phoenix, his son is directing the Dream Center in Los Angeles, and he has spoken to thousands of pastors on being a pastor, leadership and church growth. He has written a book that isn't systematic but rather inspirational, practical and definitive. He encourages the reader to set a half hour each day for thought provoking inspection, prayer and dreaming and he fills the book with moving testimonies of how thirty minute segments has filled his life and turned these moments of time into a faith filled life. 
