Change Your Marriage this Week!

I want a better marriage! The stone faced couple sat in front of me with tear filled eyes. They were hurt and wounded but lacked the wisdom to turn their marriage around. "Do you have a checkbook?" After they answered, taking the checkbook I explained, taking withdrawals without deposits would soon cost them more, with bank charges, then they originally had. Do you wish to have the marriage you had when you first married? They both answered an emphatic , "Yes!"
The reason for our "first love" immensity is the amount of deposits we put into the love scenario. The more you put into the marriage - the more you are able to withdrawal. Both had been taking out of the marriage without any deposits into the marriage.
Maybe you find yourself in this same predicament. You see the both of you taking out of the marriage but not putting anything back. Here are a few deposits you must put into the marriage "checking account" today.
Compliment Giving your spouse a genuine and sincere complement is like filling up the gas tank - you cn go a long ways on one compliment. Giving a heartfelt, "Wow! that was a great dinner." "Wow! you sure look great today." "Wow! you are the best ever." The "wow!" compliments can change a marriage from bad to good or from good to great in a matter of days but don't give and expect a "wow!" back. Simply give the compliment without an expected return of a compliment.
Care Giving a few simply "love pats" throughout the day lets your spouse know you acknowledge their presence. These touches should accumulate approximately seven a day to sufficiently express your thoughts and actions towards your spouse. "Love pats" can be a soft shoulder rub, a hug, a kiss on the check, holding their hand or a pat on the shoulder or back. Theses are nonsexual and not to be considered as an advance but simply a "love pat" of acknowledgement and love.
Considerate Ask honest and open-ended questions about their day, or how they feel or what's on their mind and get ready to listen. Listening is the lost art of love in many marriages. Focus your eyes, attention and heart on the one speaking. Show concern and be considerate. Husbands, you are not fixing the problem (my greatest fault) but you are simply listening and being considerate of their "bad day" experiences. You are feeling for them not fixing them.
Combine Work together. Worship together. Have fun together. Work in the yard together. Clean house together. Wash dishes together. Go on a walk together. Date, of course, together. Go to a coffee shop together. Go on a drive through the country together. Plan your vacation together. You get the picture - combine your efforts into one goal.
Call Whether you are on a business trip or working in your office - send your spouse a text message or call just to say, "I love you." Write a note and leave it for him/her when they open their lunch sack. Throughout the day let your spouse know you are thinking of them.
Complete God is the glue of the marriage and prayer is the application of the glue. To complete a marriage you must pray together. I pray, "Help me, Lord, to be the kind of husband you would be proud of." My wife prays, "Help me, Lord, be the kind of wife you would be proud of." We ask each other to forgive us for words, thoughts or actions that are creating friction rather than a loving environment. we pray together, "Lord, bless our marriage as an inspiration to others."
Comment: What are some deposits you make in your marriage that would be helpful to others?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

Family - It Means Everything

I have always believed that God comes first, then family. Next month will be 32 years of marriage and I haven't changed my mind. God is still first, family second. Sometimes life is complicated and confusing. Jobs demand extra time, health issues drain us, and life calls our name from all corners. It is easy to mix up the two and even push God and family into a far corner while we divulge in life's extravagances. Accumulating more stuff at the expense of God and money has left many a tragic father without. Following rainbows instead of God and family has caused many a soul to drift from the very best in life.

Why not take the time you need - no, not tomorrow but today -with God and family.

THE HIGHLIGHTS OF IMPORTANCE

The Highlights of Importance.

When I look back over my past and muse over my future I must admit - life and all its pursuit boils down to one or two really important things.
When the CEO of Carolina Pad, Clay Presley, missed his interview with INC. magazine not one thought that he would be among the ones standing along a plane wing waiting for the rescue boat. US Airways Flight 1549 had safely landed in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009. But when Presley did make the interview he firmly stated, “"in about three seconds, you realize what's important: family, and your spiritual relationship.”
I agree! Of all the things I have done in my past and all the things in my future – the time, energy, money and future plans aimed at, my relationship with God and my relationship with my family is most paramount. Setting the most important things as the most important things must be more than mental assent. There must be a sense of direction, a momentum moving us down the right path. A few right choices can set a dynamic change agency within us.

Here are a few tips on making the right things the right things:

1. Ask yourself the TIME question. What will captivate the majority of my prime time. Make a list of all the necessary items for today with the “most important things” figured in. Schedule your prime time events on your daily calendar, after following this day after day, it will become a habit.
2. Ask yourself the ENERGY question. What takes the majority of my energy. We aren’t talking about job, etc. – we are only talking about our “most important things,” of these, what should take the most of my effort as I work towards satisfaction?
3. Ask yourself the MONEY question. Will I begin to allocate funds to my priority areas? How much can I spend on each item? And, am I willing to adjust my standard of living to fit these new terms?
4. Ask yourself the FUTURE question. Since priorities rewrite the future it is important I ask myself some thought provoking questions. How will this change my future? What must I do beginning today if I want to change my future?

Babies, Hugs and Smiles

Being a father was a delight - watching both of my children grow up to be God loving adults and building their own family. My daughter's son will turn one year old in just a few days and my son's wife will give birth within the week. So now I am putting on my grandfather image and watching my children bring their children into the world. When the babies are around - nothing else is important. It is one of the joys of holding on to a long married life together. Over 31 years my wife and I have been married and we are enjoying the reward.

A few, no a bunch, of things have crossed my mind when I see the grandson and think of my soon to be, granddaughter.

First, I have to watch my step. I know that since the little guy is learning to walk, (he has the bumps on his forehead to prove it), he can get under your feet in a hurry. But I was talking about my daily life - he loves to mimic and that is what causes me concern. Do I treat my neighbor right? Have I spoken well? Have my actions been moral and upstanding?

Secondly, I must love Godl. Children come into life with a blank chalkboard and what is written upon it has been taught by the adults around him. He learns from what he sees and hears. He knows how to love others and how to love God.

Thirdly, I must pray. Faith doesn't come through the channels of habit but rather through the prayers of the family. I must pray for his spirit to shine, his countenance to glow, his life to bless and his soul to be saved at an early age. I will pray for his parents to be good in their upbringing, teaching him to live right and for them to pray with him at night. I will pray to God for his protection, his dreams and purposes to be God willed and his life to influence others.

Well, I hate to quit so quickly but my grandson needs a hug.

Essence of a Home

If the home of a man is truly his castle and the heart of the home is a woman then the essence of a home is best defined as love. According to dictionary.com, the word essence means, "the inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything."

Essence would be the oil of an engine to keep it running smoothly and efficiently.

Essence is the blood flow through the passage ways of a body.

Essence is the warmth of a stove on a cold winter day.

Rare is the moment when the home is a rose strewn path of unceasing ease but rather it has become a ritual, much like tug of war. Yet, each and every one of us can compose this "essence of a home," as a great symphonic sheet of music.

For essence is best blended with atmosphere created by attittude. My determination in the morning sets the mix for the day. Guarding my words, softening my touch, beckoning with a smile bring the desired results of essence.

To create essence however, is not all on my own, one essential ingredient is missing, Prayer.

Prayer is the divine supplier of essence. To create atmosphere we must intialize the presence of God and bring peace into the home. Certainly the umpire of the soul and spirit is the presence of God. To comprise the quietness in the midst of the storm I must invite the one whom the winds and waves obey. To combine two living souls together in harmony I should invite the heavenly maestro.

Yes, essence of the home is the work of a compassionate Savior.

The Power of a Praying Mother

The world will never fully know what could have been and what has been the result of a praying mother. Soldiers have been protected and brought home safely to a loving wife and precious baby as the result of a praying mother. Daughters have been gifted with wisdom at the right moment because of a praying mother. A grandchild has been protected from a serious injury because of a praying mother.

More than once the simple cry from a praying mother’s lips have pierced through the evil chambers of hell and have rescued a drifting child. More than once a desperate child heeded the invitation to respond to a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. More than once a marriage has been saved, more than once a child has been healed, more than once a life has been changed because of a mother’s prayer.

Mother’s know how to hold on. Mother’s know how to plead; Mother’s know how to pray!

She may not flatter others with her charm, she may not wear the latest style, she may not attempt to popularity or success but she knows God! And that is all that matters.

Thanks Mom for praying.

Our tribute to Mother’s and may every day be Mother’s Day!