Investing Into Your Marriage

People sometimes marry for all the wrong reasons. When a couple marries, it develops into a frenzy of emotion – sadly, for some; it only lasts for a few years before love fades, collapsing into separation and misunderstanding.

Love must be, should be, something more than physical. Regardless how the movies portray marriage – love develops over time. Two people grow in love with each other until more is invested in the marriage than one is willing to withdraw from.

Investing into your marriage becomes the diamond of beauty

Investing in the love, the husband and wife share, is called commitment. It isn’t give and take – it is give and give. Investment usually involves putting someone of value into something we trust. Marriage defined is putting something we value into the one we trust.

For many – to be able to trust the one you love with your soul, your thoughts, your life, your being, your secrets and your dreams is the peak of love. Moving from emotion to trust is a major step in marriage. After the struggle to survive often a couple will find a deeper love and a deeper trust in one another.

Making deposits into your checkbook guarantees’ you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Making deposits into your marriage guarantees you will be able to make withdraws up to the balance of your deposits. Life has a way of making one withdrawal after the other – depleting the account. We must add deposits intentionally and on a regular basis.

 

The more you put into your marriage the more you are able to take out of your marriage

 

Simply investing more into your marriage than you are taking out isn’t just good business sense but it is simply good sense. Let’s look at some common sense ways we can’t invest into our marriage:

Expressions Of Love Holding her hand as you walk together, rubbing her shoulders, or a gentle hug when she comes in from work is adding value in your marriage. It is said a wife needs seven nonsexual touches a day for emotional well being. Don’t be like one guy who patted his wife on the back seven times and felt he had accomplished his expression of love.

Spend Prime Time Together Taking a walk together, grabbing a cup of coffee, taking her lunch to her at work, watching a movie together after the kids have gone to bed, can be prime time events investing into your love relationship.

Write a Note Slipping a note into her lunch bag, having a note posted to the bathroom mirror or having a card waiting for her on the dinner table can fill the emotional love tank up to full. Write meaningful, heartfelt words that you noted her beauty, her strength, her character or her recent decisions.

Pray Together Discover each other's needs. Pray for each other and confess your own weaknesses. Praying together over your marriage, over your home and over your children will multiply your deposits.

You might think of something that creates a better atmosphere of love in your home but whatever you do you must do regularly, continually making deposits into your marriage.

Comment: What would you add to this list of deposits?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Miracle in Your Marriage

Can we expect a miracle in our marriage; when frustrations, failures and fears have a tendency to creep up in what we thought was a near perfect romance? When love spirals down and tensions spews up in tirades of anger? Can I expect the best when all I am seeing is the worse?

I think it is interesting to note the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding. I think it is not a coincidence but determined to prove a point.

First, to declare Jesus is as welcome in the casual atmosphere of life as He is in the stately worship of a Sunday service. We find Jesus in a stable, at the seashore with fishermen, at dinner with a tax collector, walking through a vineyard, sitting on a mountainside and visiting in people’s homes. Jesus feels at home in our home if you simply welcome Him into your home.

Secondly, Jesus was at the wedding to exhibit His miracle working power. Jesus worked a miracle at a wedding and He is still working miracles in marriages today. If Jesus can turn water into wine at a wedding then He can turn friction into love, anger into respect and separation into togetherness. Marriage is a trinity including husband, wife and Jesus; without Jesus, your marriage is incomplete. But miracles still happen in marriages. A couple who had been separated by bitter and hateful words is making a go of it again. A couple’s heated argument was changed into trust and honor. Yes, Jesus can still work a miracle in your marriage. Sound like a fairy tale? Here are some practical steps to marriage miracles:

Be thankful True gratitude can open the hardest of hearts. Instead of trying to change each other be thankful for those virtues that brought you together in the first place. Your “first love” was based on attraction – dig those up from your hidden memory and be outspoken in your gratitude for each of these. Express your thanks be writing a note, a phone call in the middle of a busy afternoon, or at dinner time.

Be prayerful Prayer is the key to every marriage. Pray for your wife/husband for extra strength and love. Pray for yourself that you would become the kind of husband/wife God would be pleased with. Prayer will soften your heart and your spouse.

Be kind Kindness can get more do through one single act than a million complaints. No greater attribute in marriage can get more done. It may take time but its results are astounding. Don’t give to get and don’t expect kindness in return, just make it your common virtue.

Be respectful Men marry for respect, honor and regard – to compliment a man is like adding a deposit to your savings account, it will build with interest. Women marry for love and to support her with a sense of security and one to one attention will build a lifelong marriage.

Be real Dishonesty breaks the strongest marriage. Real relationships are built on trust – once broken, it make takes months or years to repair. Cover ups and hidden deceit break the back bone of love. Be honest, transparent and humble and watch miracles happen in your marriage.   

See Inside Highpoints Book

Highpoints Book is being used by churches and individuals in their small group Bible Studies and by individuals who want to grow in their faith. If you are still on the fence and haven't purchased your ebook or paperback copy yet - we are going to make it easier for you.

First, what is Highpoints about?

Here is a short introduction.

Does your heart crave more? More of his presence? Join the climb to the highpoints-the place in God where the scenery is breathtaking. Elevation is for those who dare to climb. Climb the mountain to reach your summit with the Holy Spirit as your guide. Reach the pinnacle in a renewed passion and desire for a holy God. Touch the top with your heart and find the God of the mountain. Get ready to climb-get ready to plant your flag at the Highpoint.

We are growing, reaching and climbing together as we grasp Trust, Endurance, Faith; like we have never had it before. Highpoints includes stories of real life mountain climbers telling their stories of stamina, high risk danger and near death experiences. Coupled with tough choices and breathtaking scenery we will move from one mountain peak reaching to our Highpoint.

You can read more about highpoints book at our website www.highpointbook.com


Secondly, I have a Kindle, can I purchase and download it there?

Yes, it is available on

Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Highpoints-Those-Who-Dare-Climb/dp/1449761291/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1349446506&sr=1-3&keywords=highpoints

Christian Book Distributors http://www.christianbook.com/highpoints-those-who-dare-climb-ebook/jim-laudell/9781449761301/pd/32826EB?item_code=WW&netp_id=1043514&event=ESRCG&view=details

Barnes and Noble for the NOOK version  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/highpoints-jim-laudell/1112669252?ean=9781449761288


Thirdly, Can I preview it before I buy?

Yes, just click here and read the first two chapters http://www.google.com/books?printsec=frontcover&id=jyQ1o6ba9wsC#v=onepage&q&f=false


Lastly, what are other people saying about Highpoints?

Not everyone has experienced mountain climbing, but everyone has experienced falling and then fighting to get back up. Jim takes us from that point of crisis, through the climb, and to the summit. Keep climbing! —Brandon Cox, Pastor of Grace Hills Church, NWA, Editor of www.Pastors.com


My wife and I have been agreeing in prayer for a special anointing upon the book leading the reader to their own personal Highpoints.

Three Questions Every Man is Asking

Every man is asking three questions in life. To solve anyone of these questions is a major accomplishment and would fuel his self worth and personal achievements. When women know these questions and help “their man” find the answers; she will benefit. Men who are confident are men who know how to love. Relationships for a man are difficult unless he has a sense of direction and an internal felling of value.

If men are asking questions then what are the questions and where are the answers?

1.        How can be family be financially secure?

2.        How can I be a good father?

3.        How can I make my wife happy?

First men must understand who they are before they ask the questions, “What can I do.”

Men strive for success instead of value. Even small successes add to a man’s ego but if a man would increase his value then he will be successful. Value is expressed through fatherhood, loyalty to his wife and completion of a “job well done.”  Every man possesses extreme influence and offers amazing value to his family but many men feel worthless, powerless and some even feel dumb. Society hasn’t helped – it has endeavored to neutralize our men, men who have lost conviction, strength and even, their faith. But value is created by presence; taking time with a teenage son or daughter, dating his wife or celebrating an accomplishment of his children. Cell phone fasting while listening to the story of a son or daughter multiplies value to the time spent with them.

Men listen to “the lie.” “As a boy I …”, he begins and minutes later ends with a story of loss, degradation or misuse. The pounding words of personality subtraction weigh upon his mind until he no longer proudly proclaims, “I am a man.” Simply confessing “the lie,” letting go of “the lie,” and substituting real truth for “the lie,” will set a man free to enjoy his manliness. To be haunted with a lie instead

Men try to control instead of lead. Men have confessed,”They aren’t listening to me, so I just quit talking.” Instead of leading – he was demanding. Respect isn’t demanded – it is earned. Showing the way instead of pushing into the “right way” is a major tool in moving a son or daughter in the right direction. When a loving father shows a loving example in a loving disposition then he will reap loving children. I must admit I was not perfect as a father watching two children grow up into amazing adults but God is merciful, often, I would cry, “Lord, help me be the Father I need to be.” There is positional power where a man makes demands but at home there is personal power developing into loving and long lasting relationships.

Men look for acceptance in the wrong places. Pornography, an evening working relationship with the opposite sex and long embraces put a man in a whirlwind of disaster but the bottom answer is acceptance. Sex is not the drive – acceptance is. “I felt I had finally accomplished something,” is the sad confession of a fallen man. Marriage is the armour of God – my wife puts it on me every day. My accountability partner is my wife; she assists in keeping me in the boundaries. One of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is to accept him in his faults and failures. Praying together creates a strong bond of commitment and acceptance.

Comment: What would you add to this article to bring men up to their value?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Change Your Marriage this Week!

I want a better marriage! The stone faced couple sat in front of me with tear filled eyes. They were hurt and wounded but lacked the wisdom to turn their marriage around. "Do you have a checkbook?" After they answered, taking the checkbook I explained, taking withdrawals without deposits would soon cost them more, with bank charges, then they originally had. Do you wish to have the marriage you had when you first married? They both answered an emphatic , "Yes!"
The reason for our "first love" immensity is the amount of deposits we put into the love scenario. The more you put into the marriage - the more you are able to withdrawal. Both had been taking out of the marriage without any deposits into the marriage.
Maybe you find yourself in this same predicament. You see the both of you taking out of the marriage but not putting anything back. Here are a few deposits you must put into the marriage "checking account" today.
Compliment Giving your spouse a genuine and sincere complement is like filling up the gas tank - you cn go a long ways on one compliment. Giving a heartfelt, "Wow! that was a great dinner." "Wow! you sure look great today." "Wow! you are the best ever." The "wow!" compliments can change a marriage from bad to good or from good to great in a matter of days but don't give and expect a "wow!" back. Simply give the compliment without an expected return of a compliment.
Care Giving a few simply "love pats" throughout the day lets your spouse know you acknowledge their presence. These touches should accumulate approximately seven a day to sufficiently express your thoughts and actions towards your spouse. "Love pats" can be a soft shoulder rub, a hug, a kiss on the check, holding their hand or a pat on the shoulder or back. Theses are nonsexual and not to be considered as an advance but simply a "love pat" of acknowledgement and love.
Considerate Ask honest and open-ended questions about their day, or how they feel or what's on their mind and get ready to listen. Listening is the lost art of love in many marriages. Focus your eyes, attention and heart on the one speaking. Show concern and be considerate. Husbands, you are not fixing the problem (my greatest fault) but you are simply listening and being considerate of their "bad day" experiences. You are feeling for them not fixing them.
Combine Work together. Worship together. Have fun together. Work in the yard together. Clean house together. Wash dishes together. Go on a walk together. Date, of course, together. Go to a coffee shop together. Go on a drive through the country together. Plan your vacation together. You get the picture - combine your efforts into one goal.
Call Whether you are on a business trip or working in your office - send your spouse a text message or call just to say, "I love you." Write a note and leave it for him/her when they open their lunch sack. Throughout the day let your spouse know you are thinking of them.
Complete God is the glue of the marriage and prayer is the application of the glue. To complete a marriage you must pray together. I pray, "Help me, Lord, to be the kind of husband you would be proud of." My wife prays, "Help me, Lord, be the kind of wife you would be proud of." We ask each other to forgive us for words, thoughts or actions that are creating friction rather than a loving environment. we pray together, "Lord, bless our marriage as an inspiration to others."
Comment: What are some deposits you make in your marriage that would be helpful to others?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

Four Things I Pray for my Children

When it comes to praying for my children and grandchildren I have expressed no greater passion. It comes natural for a grandparent to pray for their grandchildren and a parent to pray for their children but I have felt that I needed to be more defined in my requests. More than “Bless them, Lord.” I needed to pray a definite and detailed request for God to actually move into their home and personal life and be the third person of their marriage and the unseen guest at every meal. I wanted to pray, believe and record the results but “Bless them, Lord” didn’t cover all the bases.

Here are the four things I pray for my children and grandchildren.

Protection They must be kept from the invisible influences of evil that can pull at their tender hearts and minds - they must be protected. Swaying compromises and unbalanced convictions can turn their life in another direction – they must be protected. Crime, accidents, disease and trouble must be kept away – they must be protected. Wrong friends, temptations and a fading spiritual life can ruin them – they must be protected. I pray for their protection.

Preservation Life has a way of dragging you down, dragging you around and dragging you away – I pray for their preservation. Stability, closeness, and family ties are important - I pray for their preservation. Marriage, love and togetherness are valuable - I pray for their preservation. Faithfulness, committment and bonding are needed – I pray for their preservation.

Provision I don’t pray for riches but I do pray for their needs to be met. I don’t pray for wealth but I do pray they will live debt free.I don’t pray they will build bigger barns but I do pray they will be abundantly blessed. Every need to be supplied, every care to be placed in the hands of God, and every day to be filled with thanksgiving for His faithfulness.

Presence When praying for my children and grandchildren I pray most passionately about the manifest presence of God in their home and daily life. I firmly believe when God is present not much else can survive. I pray for the living room, bedrooms and kitchen is filled with the presence of God. Their heart, mind and soul is filled with the presence of God. Their home, church and school is filled with he presence of God. I pray for the presence of God to be living, active and working in their daily life.
Prayer is essential and not a routine , especially when it comes to praying for our children and grandchildren, let us pray.

Comment Below:What do you pray for your children?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

I love love

This is a guest post by Josh Hood. A great young speaker and blogger. You can catch up with him at joshuamhood.com and twitter.com/JoshuaMHood

I love love.

I love how it compels young couples to hold hands. It’s like love makes their hands magnetic.

I love how it fills their stomachs with butterflies and their eyes with stars.

I love love.

I love how it covers a multitude of faults (1 Peter 4:8). I love how it has the power to melt the hardest heart and soften the bitterest soul.

Like the pounding surf washes away words written in the sand on the beach, the waves of love can wash away the offenses and disagreements etched in the sandy soil of our hearts.

I love love.

I love the loyalty and commitment love gives birth to. It compels an old man to stay by the bedside of his dying wife in the hospital. It compels a young mother to sit up all night with her sick child.

A thousand miles seems a long way to drive… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing. A thousand hours seems a long time to work… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing. A thousand dollars seems a lot to give… unless it is motivated by love; then it seems as nothing.

I love love.

Love has an impressive resume. A long list of relationships healed and great feats accomplished. But at the very top of the list is the greatest thing love ever did…

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Love sent a Savior.

I smile softly and let out a gentle sigh every time I read those words.

Yes, indeed. I love love.

Comment below: Do you have a story of unending love?

Copyrighted by Jim Laudell. Material contained in this post cannot be reproduced or copied without permission from the author.

Six Ways to Settle an Argument

You are not responsible for their actions but you are responsible for your reactions. A tense disagreement can ruin a relationship. Stress drives anger to the boiling point. We can learn to disagree agreeable and take the steering wheel in our hands. Let's look at Six Ways to Settle an Argument:

Lower your voice. A loud voice doesn't exert authority but only exemplifies your loss of control. "A soft answer turns away wrath," the psalmist David advises. You don't win by getting louder - you only escalate the problem.

Understand different interpretations. Even Matthew, Mark, Luke and John told the story of Christ through a different lens. Your personality, upbringing, environment, childhood and education will make a difference on how you view ideas around you. Allow for different interpretations. Your opinion is just that - an opinion. Don't put people in a box, your box.

Be ready to forgive. I'm sorry but... isn't really an apology. Saying your sorry has become such cheap words when said many times without change. It is better to say, "Would you forgive me? I will do my best to do better and to change."

Find common ground. Instead of magnifying the areas you don't agree on find the areas you do agree on. Find a common place to begin with.

Don't go to bed mad. You subconscious dwells on your most emotional downturn of the day, causing you to build a wall, one brick at a time. Unresolved conflict is still a conflict. Take care of the matter before it gets bigger.

Pray about it. Pray for you and pray for them. Pray for them to change after you pray for you to change. Remember Jesus forgave you. If the conflict still burns like fire in your bosom then most likely you have not forgiven yet.

Comment Below: Do you have a story of forgiveness?

Copyright By Jim Laudell. Permission must be obtained from the author to reporduce or copy.

Family Prayer

When our children were preschoolers we would have a regular scheduled time for prayer and Bible story time. Each evening the children would climb on the couch for daddy to tell a story, take prayer requests and pray with each one. Later on when my children grew to be teens, praying together as a family was a directive for their relationships, school work and other pursuits. Now, my children are married and have children of their own, what a great delight to know they pray with their children each night before bedtime.
The Gospels record Jesus inviting the children to come to Him. Family prayer has many benefits but let me name just a few:
It is a great time for the family to talk about pressing issues. Families don't get enough time to have meaningful conversations about moral, economical or relational subjects and the time of Family Prayer can open up discussion of these vital topics. It is found among teens, they will follow whoever listens to them.
It is a great time to express our love for each other. My wife and I would often thank Jesus for each other while praying, reinforcing our love and commitment to each other at our family time of prayer. Holding the children in your lap and praying a blessing over them not only has biblical roots but can open the door for your child to receive what God has in store for each child.
It is a great time to uncover the purpose for each child. Each person has a unique calling and purpose for life. Family prayer time can investigate the gifts of each child and expose them to various callings for their life.
It is a great time to pray for their protection. Each time you send your child into the public school you risk not seeing that child return in the same spirit. We must pray protection over their body, mind and spirit. The Israel customs were full of symbolism and in Exodus the description of putting blood on the doorposts to protect the family from the death angel, reminds us to plead the blood over our children for their protection in an evil world.
It is a great time to memorize the Word of God together. With all the functions, activities and events of the local church, there is nothing as powerful as the family memorizing the Word of God together. En-grafting the Word of God in our mind and life is an awesome insurance for the lives of our children. Deuteronomy 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Happy Father's Day

A father is created when a child is born - that's the easy part but dad's are made when a relationship has developed between a son or a daughter. Sometimes we just don't get it that our children are not money seeker's or fad grabbers. They are normal kids who want dad to give them some time, some attention and some love.

Dad's know when a child needs a hug, an ice cream or a little advise. A real dad knows that his son needs some "man to man" time. A dad knows when his daughter needs a father- daughter date. Children don't want things as much as they want dad.

A softball and thirty minutes can make a child smile all day. A fishing pole and a cold drink will delight a child for a week. A hug can make a child happy for a decade. A prayer with a child can save him throughout his life.

Families that pray together - stay together. Dad's that lead the family in prayer will always have a family to come home to.

To all the great men who are Dads - Happy Daddy Day!

New Years Resolutions for Couples

Here are a few suggestions for couples who intend to invest in their marriage in 2009. Don't forget when you invest you are able to make withdrawals. The more you invest in your marriage the more flexible and forgivable the marriage becomes.

Resolution #1: Pray Together. The old adage is still true, the family that prays together, stays together. The Bible tells us that prayers are hindered when couples don't get along, so it bears in mind that a couples prayers are NOT hindered when they get along. Prayer time is a good time to talk, share, testify, encourage and humble ourselves before God and our mate.

Resolution #2: Play Together. Some couples have forgotten how to have fun. Pop some popcorn, pour two glasses of Coke, turn out the light and watch a black and white classic. Or, plan a day off. Or, plan a spring or summer vacation. Go on a date or take a day trip.

Resolution #3: Plan Together: Enjoy the benefit of planning to build a back porch, redo the landscaping, paint the living room or update the kitchen. Clean out the garage or set out a 2009 budget. Planning takes resilience, dedication and fortitude. Planning together puts the glue back in a marriage.

Resolution #4: Purpose Together: Find out what your "couple purpose" is. Decide on a mission to support, an orphanage to check out, a food bank to give to or a friend to encourage. These times spent together for others are enormous in adding value to your marriage.

Resolution #5: Practice Together: Take on a hike, a jog, tennis, exercise, diet or fast together. Also, practice applauding each other. Praise each other fervently and frequently. Applaud each attempt in pleasing you, whether it is a scrumptious dinner, a well planned evening, a new outfit, or other meaningful "love gift."

A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.

After 31 years of marriage, that's 31 Christmas holiday events, we are still planning, spending, preparing, baking, partying, gifting, tasting, decorating, scheduling, giving, going, and more. Yes, we have experienced headaches, sore feet, empty checkbooks and cold weather but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We feel the pain of the holidays, the stress of the schedules and the overspending on the presents and I get angry, stressed, head achy, and frazzled but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We have two grandchildren (I have pictures if you care to see them), Jake, one year old, and Kallee who was born this past Dec 3rd. We have two children, both married, who are spending Christmas with their relatives this year Rather than soak and soar; or sit and mope, we have decided to go off for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, just a couple of hours away. I found a 3.5 star hotel on Hotwire for half the price and we plan to look at Christmas lights, explore Tulsa shops and find nice restaurants to eat at and exchange gifts Christmas eve. My wife and I are still having a great time together.

Oh, we disagree, fuss, complain and the usual holiday medley but my wife and I are still having a great time together, We have cried, laughed, prayed and sometimes worried but my wife and I are still having a great time together.

We have enjoyed a great past, looking forward to a blessed future and my plans include her and her plans include me. My wife and I are still having a great time together.

Babies, Hugs and Smiles

Being a father was a delight - watching both of my children grow up to be God loving adults and building their own family. My daughter's son will turn one year old in just a few days and my son's wife will give birth within the week. So now I am putting on my grandfather image and watching my children bring their children into the world. When the babies are around - nothing else is important. It is one of the joys of holding on to a long married life together. Over 31 years my wife and I have been married and we are enjoying the reward.

A few, no a bunch, of things have crossed my mind when I see the grandson and think of my soon to be, granddaughter.

First, I have to watch my step. I know that since the little guy is learning to walk, (he has the bumps on his forehead to prove it), he can get under your feet in a hurry. But I was talking about my daily life - he loves to mimic and that is what causes me concern. Do I treat my neighbor right? Have I spoken well? Have my actions been moral and upstanding?

Secondly, I must love Godl. Children come into life with a blank chalkboard and what is written upon it has been taught by the adults around him. He learns from what he sees and hears. He knows how to love others and how to love God.

Thirdly, I must pray. Faith doesn't come through the channels of habit but rather through the prayers of the family. I must pray for his spirit to shine, his countenance to glow, his life to bless and his soul to be saved at an early age. I will pray for his parents to be good in their upbringing, teaching him to live right and for them to pray with him at night. I will pray to God for his protection, his dreams and purposes to be God willed and his life to influence others.

Well, I hate to quit so quickly but my grandson needs a hug.

Reducing Stress During Recession

Julie and Bob had a good income, a good marriage, and a good life until Julie came up expecting with complications during her last three months of pregnancy. Within a few months she delivered with a normal birth and a beautiful baby boy. But hospital bills, doctor’s visits and the loss of Julie’s income for three months put the young couple at rock bottom. They struggles to pay for diapers, heating costs and even, food. Bob would come home exhausted and Julie felt defeated as she raised her baby as a stay home mother.

Julie prayed.

In the despair of foreclosures, job layoffs, uncertainty of the future, mounting costs and imaginable pain there is a dynamic – a hope that rides through the storm.

First of all, know He cares. Prayer is seeing life through God’s view. To see earth through His window. Jesus feels the pain, sees the hurt and weeps over the mess. “Jesus wept.” Jn 11:35 To know that He knows. He keeps me close. He delights in me daily. Pr 8:30 He is always within reach. Never ignores us.

Know He is with us. We often remind ourselves that His eye is on the sparrow but the scripture actually goes into greater detail. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. Matt 10:29. Did you notice? He didn’t say He would watch the sparrow fall but He said the sparrow will not fall to the ground without the Father.

Know we can lean on Him. When we learning to lean we grow stronger. Faith gives up in atrophy. Faith only grows stronger under duration. Becomes greater in practice. Produces greater results when meshed with a trail. As one man stated, “If you don’t have a problem – you won’t need a miracle.”

Know His Word is our strength. One of the greatest strengths on earth is to hear the tender voice of Christ in the day of your greatest struggle. One of the surest ways to hear His voice is to read, ponder, and meditate on His word. The Bible is full of scriptures bringing delight to the hearer. When Elijah was running for his life from the crass Jezebel he hid in the obscurity of a cave, as he pitied his dilemma he cried, “just let me die.” Yet, the Son of God entered the darkness of the cave and whispered his name, “Elijah.” What a comfort, a joy, a celebration of spirit, just to know, He knows your name and He knows where you are.

Know tomorrow is coming. When a Japanese Christian preacher was thrown in jail for his faith it was almost more that he could bear. His dungeon was deep below the earth and no one heard his cries, no sunlight and little food but he kept his faith. After, what seemed eternity, the dungeon door came open, the direct sunlight blinded his dirty face. The noise of men beckoning him to come out seemed to bellow out in his nearly deafened ears. Finally the glad words were heard, he was now free but as he looked around he noticed this was not the home he once knew, not a home, tree or building stood – all but the few men with him , were now gone. The men exclaimed, “Your home here in Hiroshima does no longer exist.” The United States had retaliated against the Japanese for their merciless killings at Pearl Harbor and the city of Hiroshima was destroyed by a nuclear bomb but the old preacher was saved because he had been hid in the deep cavern. His dark cell had become his salvation. Tomorrow is coming.

Essence of a Home

If the home of a man is truly his castle and the heart of the home is a woman then the essence of a home is best defined as love. According to dictionary.com, the word essence means, "the inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything."

Essence would be the oil of an engine to keep it running smoothly and efficiently.

Essence is the blood flow through the passage ways of a body.

Essence is the warmth of a stove on a cold winter day.

Rare is the moment when the home is a rose strewn path of unceasing ease but rather it has become a ritual, much like tug of war. Yet, each and every one of us can compose this "essence of a home," as a great symphonic sheet of music.

For essence is best blended with atmosphere created by attittude. My determination in the morning sets the mix for the day. Guarding my words, softening my touch, beckoning with a smile bring the desired results of essence.

To create essence however, is not all on my own, one essential ingredient is missing, Prayer.

Prayer is the divine supplier of essence. To create atmosphere we must intialize the presence of God and bring peace into the home. Certainly the umpire of the soul and spirit is the presence of God. To comprise the quietness in the midst of the storm I must invite the one whom the winds and waves obey. To combine two living souls together in harmony I should invite the heavenly maestro.

Yes, essence of the home is the work of a compassionate Savior.

Fathers Who Make a Difference

Fatherhood is the most underrated job position in the nation. We have misunderstood the role of a father in the home, we have miscalculated his impact and have misconstrued his value. A father can make a dramatic difference in a family.

Take these staggering reports from Focus on the Family:

• Approximately 50% of all marriages in the church are experiencing divorce.
• 69-94% of Christian teens are leaving the faith after they graduate from high school.
• Less than 10% of churchgoing families read the Bible together, pray together or worship together in the home.

Could it be that if we could get father’s to lead their family in reading the Bible together, praying together and worship together in the home that we could drop the divorce rate and better emphasize the importance of the faith to our struggling teenagers.

Families need glue to hold them together and prayer in the home is the glue. There is something about a father leading in devotions and praying for each family member that inbreeds the essential elements of the faith that is not found in the church. Every family must find a church, get plugged in, be faithful and supportive but praying at the home brings to the family a bond that cannot be found elsewhere.

Where are the father’s who will teach humbly about asking for forgiveness, embracing a teen and saying “I love you?” Where are the father’s that will encourage each child in their gifts? Where are the father’s that will spend time training the children to respect, honor and obey their mother?

That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deut 6:2, 4-9 (KJV)

Attention Fathers ! Be the Man!

The Power of a Praying Mother

The world will never fully know what could have been and what has been the result of a praying mother. Soldiers have been protected and brought home safely to a loving wife and precious baby as the result of a praying mother. Daughters have been gifted with wisdom at the right moment because of a praying mother. A grandchild has been protected from a serious injury because of a praying mother.

More than once the simple cry from a praying mother’s lips have pierced through the evil chambers of hell and have rescued a drifting child. More than once a desperate child heeded the invitation to respond to a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. More than once a marriage has been saved, more than once a child has been healed, more than once a life has been changed because of a mother’s prayer.

Mother’s know how to hold on. Mother’s know how to plead; Mother’s know how to pray!

She may not flatter others with her charm, she may not wear the latest style, she may not attempt to popularity or success but she knows God! And that is all that matters.

Thanks Mom for praying.

Our tribute to Mother’s and may every day be Mother’s Day!

Making the Most of Marriage

Marriage is the ability to live within various circumstances and both parties come out a champion. Raising kids, finding extra money, scheduling time and keeping house is sometimes stressful and many times disastrous. Two people going hurriedly in no particular direction and exhausted by the weekend find their love life frazzled and their marriage on the rocks. Many women have fled the stressful scene to a fantasy of living alone (with my own time) and many guys have looked for a secret lover as a way to "get out" of the frenzied lifestyle.

We can make the most of a marriage by following a few life changing steps.

1. First and foremost, quit living reactive and start living proactive. Simply put, develop a schedule that works for both husband and wife. Don't put anything more on the list than can possibly be done in a week and learn to say, "NO!" Overextended families don't have fun - learn to live for the little things in life that bring your family happiness.
2. Schedule time for your and your spouse. This may be a quick sandwich at dinner, a date, shopping together, or simply a walk around the neighborhood but whatever you do, schedule it and do it!
3. Never go to bed without saying, "I Love You!" The most powerful words, when expressed with meaning and passion, can calm the most hectic of days. To know someone loves you, at the end of a chaotic day, can relax the most tense of muscles and cause you to rest better.
4. Take time to enjoy life. I borrowed the phrase, "vacation of the mind"from a lady who owned an art shop. But I personalized the meaning, sometimes when out on business, I would stop at a coffee shop and read a book, this fifteen minute vacation (vacation of the mind) has caused me to reexamine my day and think more clearly. One time when having a stressful and hectic day I stopped by a mini golf course, played a few holes, then being refreshed, went home to my family.
5. Enjoy dessert. Merely after the evening meal, express how thankful you are for your family. This is what I call "enjoying dessert." You don't have to have a piece of chocolate cake after dinner but expressing thanks for meal, thanks for a faithful wife or husband, or expressing thanks to a child who did his chores without being asked is the best dessert after a filling meal.
6. Pray. Prayer is the ability to express my doubts, fears and stress to God, draw strength from Him, and be renewed in my spirit. Praying together as husband and wife can be the strength you need to weather many storms.