Every man is asking three questions in life. To solve anyone of these questions is a major accomplishment and would fuel his self worth and personal achievements. When women know these questions and help “their man” find the answers; she will benefit. Men who are confident are men who know how to love. Relationships for a man are difficult unless he has a sense of direction and an internal felling of value.
If men are asking questions then what are the questions and where are the answers?
1. How can be family be financially secure?
2. How can I be a good father?
3. How can I make my wife happy?
First men must understand who they are before they ask the questions, “What can I do.”
Men strive for success instead of value. Even small successes add to a man’s ego but if a man would increase his value then he will be successful. Value is expressed through fatherhood, loyalty to his wife and completion of a “job well done.” Every man possesses extreme influence and offers amazing value to his family but many men feel worthless, powerless and some even feel dumb. Society hasn’t helped – it has endeavored to neutralize our men, men who have lost conviction, strength and even, their faith. But value is created by presence; taking time with a teenage son or daughter, dating his wife or celebrating an accomplishment of his children. Cell phone fasting while listening to the story of a son or daughter multiplies value to the time spent with them.
Men listen to “the lie.” “As a boy I …”, he begins and minutes later ends with a story of loss, degradation or misuse. The pounding words of personality subtraction weigh upon his mind until he no longer proudly proclaims, “I am a man.” Simply confessing “the lie,” letting go of “the lie,” and substituting real truth for “the lie,” will set a man free to enjoy his manliness. To be haunted with a lie instead
Men try to control instead of lead. Men have confessed,”They aren’t listening to me, so I just quit talking.” Instead of leading – he was demanding. Respect isn’t demanded – it is earned. Showing the way instead of pushing into the “right way” is a major tool in moving a son or daughter in the right direction. When a loving father shows a loving example in a loving disposition then he will reap loving children. I must admit I was not perfect as a father watching two children grow up into amazing adults but God is merciful, often, I would cry, “Lord, help me be the Father I need to be.” There is positional power where a man makes demands but at home there is personal power developing into loving and long lasting relationships.
Men look for acceptance in the wrong places. Pornography, an evening working relationship with the opposite sex and long embraces put a man in a whirlwind of disaster but the bottom answer is acceptance. Sex is not the drive – acceptance is. “I felt I had finally accomplished something,” is the sad confession of a fallen man. Marriage is the armour of God – my wife puts it on me every day. My accountability partner is my wife; she assists in keeping me in the boundaries. One of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is to accept him in his faults and failures. Praying together creates a strong bond of commitment and acceptance.
Comment: What would you add to this article to bring men up to their value?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author