But if we did know what the questions are and if we can assume they really want answers and we dare to walk where angels fear to tread, then read on, at your own risk, because women can answer a question without really giving an answer but be careful, be very careful, to the man who endeavors to answer the question, (see point three above).
The three questions most married women are asking:
1. Does my husband think I still look good?
2. Does my husband still love me?
3. Is my husband listening to me?
Now, I know I will get emails and other comments saying that is NOT the question they are asking and I must admit, there are many more questions married women are asking but remember I am a male, I am writing this from a husband prospective. When women ask questions these are the three questions most husbands are hearing.
First, does my husband think I still look good? Your husband may or may not have married you for your looks. If you actually wowed him during courtship then you may have some reasons to worry when you reach 75 but when you are 75 there are many more ways to keep him around for a few more years. But most husbands marry because he enjoyed being around you, (assuming of course, that women are actually reading this blog). He married you for fun, laughs, good times; he felt completed with you and would not be completed without you.
Let me explain, women think men marry for sex but actually most men marry for strokes. They actually like to be petted, nursed, carried for, and bragged on. If you make your husband feel good when he comes home from work then you will see him continue to come home from work. Your greatest marriage insurance is to brag on your husband, compliment him.
As far as still looking good to him, sure, brush your hair, put on perfume, wear something fresh but most of all greet him with a smile – make him feel good to be home.
Secondly, does my husband still love me? Well, most likely so but men don’t communicate like women or as often as women. Squeezing an “I love you,” from his lips may be more difficult than most women realize but it doesn’t change his thoughts towards you. Men communicate love with gifts, time, protection, a service (mow, take out the trash, etc), or wrestling with the kids. I agree, men need to practice saying, I love you, to their wife and showing it but don’t be startled if he hasn’t said, “I love you” in a while but today could be different. (Men, if you have waded through this blog this far then you need this, tell your wife today, “I love you”). Ladies, give him a reason to say, “I love you.”
Thirdly, is my husband listening to me? “No!” I mean, “Yes!” Well, sometimes. Would you mind repeating the question? Men are compartmentalized. It is an understatement to say that men are preoccupied. They carry their work in their head; they bury their nose in a newspaper or stare at a computer screen for hours and hardly come up for air. This is his way to escape but check his pulse occasionally.
Let me give you some ideas:
Don’t try to lay heavy decisions upon him when he first comes home from work – bluntly, he isn’t listening.
Don’t try to have an important conversation with him right before dinner – he isn’t listening.
Don’t interrupt his game, his reading or his sleep – he isn’t listening.
Instead, wait till he has been home about an hour, after supper and after his planned escape (rest time), then sit next to him and say, “You always seem to have such good advice; I need some input, would you help me?” The damsel in distress! Yes, he is listening. By giving a compliment, asking for an answer and asking for help, you have just tapped into the male brain to come to the rescue.
When you need to ask a question in a hurry, make sure you are looking at him and he is looking at you. Men need to see you to hear you – most of the time. (Men, again, if you have waded this far you are in way over your head, but the next time your wife needs to talk to you about something, look her in the eyes and give her the honor of having your complete attention. In other words, turn your phone on silent and put it in your pocket).
Well, I just thought of a few more questions… maybe, next time.