Five Steps to a Happy Marriage

We aren't without our disagreements but with my wife and I having 34 years behind us we have picked up on a few tips along the way to make things a bit less stressful. No body will say marriage is easy but we can say we can make it easier by following basic procedures of communication and relationships.

1. Hot buttons. You know what ticks her off , the words that escalate into a scene. Don't compare, belittle or unjustly criticize by hitting the same hot button day after day. By avoiding the hot buttons we can eliminate 60% of the stress of marriage and 80% of the conflict. Find those hot buttons and stay away from them.

2. Forgive. The biggest word in marriage. Don't hold on to the past arguments. Accept the forgiveness Christ has given you and forgive others easily. Life is too short to hold a grudge. Honestly and sincerely forgive. Steve and Rachel (not their real names) were both cheating on each other but after a sincere and honest prayer of repentance they both forgave each other and moved on in their marriage - it has now been three years of reconciliation. It hasn't always been easy for them but they are making it work.

3. Invest. This is one of the biggest words in marriage. Invest in your marriage. Meet her for lunch during her work day. Take her on a date. Go on a weekend vacation. Go shopping together. Spend time together. Women equal time spent with her as a love gift. A wife who complements her husband will keep him for a long time.

4. Laugh. Having fun in a marriage is one of the best cures for the anxieties of life. The Bible says, A merry heart does good like a medicine. Live a little light-hearted and don't take you self too serious.

5. Pray. Praying together will melt differences and keep your heart soft. Pray often together and for each other.

Forgiveness Comes in Three Steps

Forgiveness is the mercy of God for you, the power of God for others. Forgiveness reveals both strength and humility. Forgiveness removes the present pain and sometimes the past hurt. People who forgive live longer and live better. Joyce Meyers said that bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die.

Forgiveness comes in three major steps:

God's forgiveness.

It must begin here. Forgiveness is not an issue of works but a divine work of mercy. You must believe that He does forgive and you must ask Him for it. Time heals is a farce without the forgiveness of God. When you allow God to forgive you it is easier to forgive someone else.

Forgiving others.

One of the reason it is hard to forgive others is we have been taught that we must forget. Someone said, "I can forgive but I can't forget." This is true. God asked you to forgive but didn't ask you to forget. When you forgive you will not be slapped with amnesia. You can always tell when you have forgiven someone - when their name comes up you have lost the heated passion to get even.

Forgive yourself.

Perhaps the hardest of the three. If you can't forgive yourself you will find it hard to accept God's forgivenss and definitely find it hard to forgive others. Find it within your heart to allow God's love. Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, the theif on the cross and Saul, the murderer - He will forgive you too.